Cameron: Oh, Pam, it is so great that you're out. It must've been so lonely in there.
Pam: Well, there was some companionship.
Cameron: Good.
Pam: I dabbled in lesbianism.
Mitchell: Oh.
Pam: Didn't hate it. But there was just too much talking afterwards.

Mitchell: Again, I'm... I'm so sorry that you can't stay upstairs. We have this new renter coming in, and...
Pam: Cram it. I know you didn't send that letter.
Mitchell: What? H-How?
Pam: That don't matter. All that matters is you're gonna pay.
Mitchell: Oh...
Pam: In prison, they called me BOTOX, because even though all the ladies want me, I will wreck your face.

Mitchell: Hey, there's my favorite sister-in-law. I, uh... I got you a Popsicle, and the stick has a joke on it. Um, "How do you fix a broken gorilla?" Mm, well, I guess we're gonna find out soon.
Pam: Sticks are good for more than joking. In prison, I learned how to fashion all manner of sticks into knives.

Mitchell: What do you want from me?
Pam: Miles.
Mitchell: Uh, what?
Pam: I know all you fancy people have rewards cards. Being all cooped up has given me the travel bug.
Mitchell: But I've been saving those. I bought groceries at a gas station for six months to get triple points. For... For Lily's birthday breakfast, we gave her something called Pop Zarts.
Pam: I want them in my account by the end of the day or I tell Cameron.
Mitchell: But I almost have enough for two off-peak flights to Paris.
Pam: Ha, "monkey wrench."
Mitchell: Yeah, that's putting it mildly.
Pam: No, that's how you fix a broken gorilla, you dummy.

[As Mitchell showers:]
Mitchell: Oh! Oh.
Pam: Relax. It's nothing I haven't seen before. I was on the boys' wrestling team.

Mitchell: I am an officer of the law. I took an oath.
Cameron: What about our oath? To love, honor, and... and lie for each other's family.
Mitchell: Oh, that's not part of it.
Cameron: But it's implied.
Pam: Stop. Stop. Mitchell's right. I spent the day terrorizing him. I'm a horrible person. I should still be in jail. Look what I took.
Mitchell: Is that my beard trimmer?
Pam: Works on other hairs.

Pam: I'm sorry. I am a thief and a liar and a manipulator. I can't be trusted to rejoin society.
Cameron: Hey, don't say that. You're... You're gonna be fine.
Pam: What about little Cal? He's doing so good here. I'm just gonna ruin him. I need supervision, to be locked back up. You guys know where I can get a pickup truck and a big ol' chain? I'm gonna steal me a Redbox.

[aside to camera:]
Mitchell: It was a box of clothes Pam asked her mom to ship to her three days ago.
[flashback:]
Mitchell: You faked that breakdown so you could stay here.
Pam: Well done, Counselor.
Mitchell: See, this is why I couldn't write that letter for you. You have no remorse for your lying, stealing ways, but I... I am on to you, and I am going to make you pay.
Pam: [scoffs] No, you ain't. You tiny.
Mitchell: Hey, hey, are those our lamps? Pam?