Michel: [on the phone] Cancel? Well, I would say that depends. What exactly is your feeling about pickles? Uh-huh, yes, pickles... gherkins, dills. For instance, if all the air around you smelled like pickles and there was no place to run, no place to hide, would you find that bothersome?

Lorelai: Michel, it's getting in my pores. My pores are pickling. Sorry, I didn't mean to get you out of surgery.
Michel: Oh, mock the mask if you wish.
Lorelai: Oh, I will.
Michel: One is never too careful with toxic pollutants in the air.
Lorelai: Michel, it's just pickles.
Michel: Oh, so they say! Has anyone ever seen these pickles? Who's to say this is not some sort of chemical weapon the government is testing on us behind our backs?
Lorelai: That's a cheery thought.
Michel: I have much scarier scenarios if you want to hear them.

Michel: Oh. You. I thought we were done with you.
Luke: Hi, Michel. Is Lorelai here?
Michel: [on the phone] Hey. Can you tell Lorelai that someone is here to see her? [hangs up] Well, this is awfully awkward. We should make some sort of conversation. I see your sense of style has not changed.
Luke: Nope.
Michel: I've often wondered, does someone in your family own a flannel company?
Luke: Uh, no.
Michel: You know what? I cannot do this. Let us just stand here and let the awkwardness wash over us.
Luke: Fine by me.
Lorelai: Hi.
Michel: Ah, here she is. It's been a delight chatting with you.

Michel: Tell Lorelai that the Zimmermans in room 4 are not a married couple, as we had thought, but rather a brother and a sister.
Sookie: No, I'm not telling Lorelai that. She's in a hospital.
Michel: Tell her they requested a rollaway bed, and we do not have any rollaway bed left.
Sookie: I am not talking to Lorelai about rollaway beds.
Michel: Tell Lorelai that the Zimmermans are very demanding, and very big, and they need a bed!
Lorelai: [on the phone] Tell Michel that the Murrays are checking out at 3:00 and he can use the rollaway bed from their room.
Sookie: She says you can take the rollaway bed from the Murrays. They're checking out at 3:00.
Michel: Ahh! Very good. Tell her "thank you."
Sookie: He says "thank you" and apologizes for being such a pest.
Michel: Tell her I miss her here very, very much!

Michel: Hello, Lorelai. Welcome back.
Lorelai: Thanks. What's with the dog?
Sookie: Yeah, why is that here?
Michel: I assume you're talking about Paw-Paw.
Lorelai: I'm talking about the furry thing that you know you're not supposed to bring to work due to the fact that many of our guests do not enjoy finding dog hairs in their lobster bisque.
Michel: I had no choice but to bring him in today. Paw-Paw could not be left alone. His brother Chin Chin passed away last night.
Lorelai: Michel, I'm so sorry.
Michel: Paw-Paw is beside himself.

Lorelai: Well, you should have a memorial or something.
Michel: Yeah, that's a good idea.
Michel: Oh. I suppose it is.
Lorelai: Yeah, it'll give you and Paw-Paw a chance to say goodbye.
Michel: That might be nice. Could you do it by tomorrow?
Lorelai: Me? What?
Michel: If you're going to put together a memorial, it should be soon.
Lorelai: Uh... yeah, sure. Tomorrow would be fine.
Michel: All right, that sounds fine. Well, I guess I should get started on the guest list. There are so many people who will want to pay their respects.

Michel: I assume there are no stationery selections for me to choose from yet.
Lorelai: Not yet.
Michel: You know what, who cares? Why don't we just use fax paper? And why not print them out on the computer? After all, it's just a dog.

Michel: Lorelai, I specifically sent out a memo asking that all pillows featuring cats be removed from the library.
Lorelai: What?
Michel: The cat pillows, they're still there!
Lorelai: Ah, yeah, I'll take care of it, I promise.
Michel: And you have to talk to Sookie.
Lorelai: What about?
Michel: I asked her about the final menu. She said she didn't have it yet. I said "when can I expect it?" She said she wasn't sure. I said, "might I ask what you are planning?" And she said - and I quote - "Let's see what's left over at the end of the day, and I'll whip up something delicious." Leftovers! Why even bother? Is it too much to ask that the passing of my beloved dog be marked by food that has been prepared specifically with that occasion in mind?

Lorelai: We didn't need a song that necessarily had dogs in the lyrics, right, Michel?
Michel: Whatever. David Bowie sounds like a hoot.
Lorelai: More Princess Diana, less dog.
Zach: So you want Elton John?
Lorelai: We were thinking very dignified. Bach, Mozart...
Michel: Celine Dion.
Lorelai: Or Celine Dion.
Zach: Oh, please don't make me do that.
Michel: After all, "My Heart Will Go On" was Chin Chin's favorite song.

Sookie: Michel, you can't put your schedules in the front of the basket. It's blocking everything.
Michel: So?
Sookie: So it shouldn't block everything. It doesn't look good.
Michel: [chuckles] Yes, it does. I am a man of refine and renown . Aesthetic Fabien Baron once publicly admired the way I decorated my locker at crunch. I worked extremely hard on these schedules, and it looks good.
Sookie: Yes, the schedules look nice, okay. Lovely font choice, lovely use of bullet points, but give me a break it's not like you made them on an antique printing press or something.
Michel: Oh, I'm sorry. Did you make your chocolate-dipped apricots on an antique printing press?
Sookie: Ha ha. No, of course not.
Michel: Touché.