Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] And a crusty old man, Said I'll do what I can, And the rest of the rats, Played maracas.

Phoebe: [singing] My sticky shoes, My sticky, sticky shoes, Why you stick on me? Baby.
Thanks for the lights, honey.

Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] When I play, I play for me, I don't need your charity- Thank you!

Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] Little Tony Tarzan Swinging on a nose hair, Swinging with the greatest of ease.

Chandler: Wow, it is true what they say: Pregnant bellies look like a drum.
Phoebe: Ha ha. No, it's that- I'm so pregnant that my guitar doesn't fit anymore. So I thought until I'm not, I'm going to play all my songs on this drum. It sounds really cool. Listen, listen.
[playing the drum] Smelly cat, smelly cat, What are they feeding you?
That sounds great. I know. And I've only been playing for, like, an hour.

Rachel: You went out with a guy in the Navy?
Phoebe: I met him while playing guitar in the park. Ryan threw in saltwater taffy because he didn't have change.
Joey: Is that when you wrote "Saltwater Taffy Man"?
Phoebe: No.

Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] Parading goats are parading, Parading down the street, Parading goats are parading, Leaving little treats.

Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] He was a double, double, Double-jointed boy.

Mike: Phoebe writes lots of songs. What was that one you sang the other night that everybody just loved?
Phoebe: Oh, "Pervert Parade"?
Mike: No.
Phoebe: Oh. "Ode to a Pubic Hair"?
Mike: Stop.

Phoebe: It really has been great, too. You know, some of these people must have seen me play before because they were requesting a bunch of my songs. Yeah, "You Suck" and "Shut Up and Go Home."