Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] And there's a country called Argentina, It's a place I've never seen, But I'm told for fifty pesos, You can buy a human spleen, Human spleen. Olé!

Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] We thought Phoebe would leave, But she just stayed and stayed, That's right, I'm here all night, And Chandler will never get-
Chandler: Hey. Here's a dollar. Consider it a deposit. Please sing at our wedding. Thank you. Okay.
Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] Now who will perform the ceremony, Who will perform the cer- Oh, oh. I'll pound on him in the morning.

Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] Whenever I get married, Guess who won't be asked to sing, Somebody named Geller, And somebody else named Bing.

Phoebe: Check it out. I could play this while the guests are coming in, okay.
[singing and playing guitar] First time I met Chandler I thought he was gay, But here I am singing, On his wedding day-
Monica: Phoebe, no.
Phoebe: If you would have let me finish, it goes on to say that he's probably not gay.

Phoebe: [playing her guitar and singing] And they found their bodies, The very next day, And they found their bodies, The very next-

Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] Happy Hanukkah, Monica, May your Christmas be snowy, Joey, Happy New Year, Chandler and Ross, Spin the dreidel, Rachel.
Rachel: Pheebs, that's great.
Phoebe: Oh, yay.
Rachel: But you know, Rachel doesn't rhyme with dreidel.
Phoebe: I know, but it's so hard. Nothing rhymes with your stupid name.

Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] Happy Hannukah, Chandler and Monica, Merry, merry-
Chandler: You know what, Pheebs? I'm not Jewish.
Phoebe: So, Ross doesn't decorate his tree with floss but you don't hear him complaining, do you?

Phoebe: [playing her guitar and singing] They're tiny and chubby, And so sweet to touch, But soon they'll grow up, And resent you so much, Now they're yelling at you, And you don 't know why, And you cry and you cry and you cry, And you cry and you cry, And you cry- Thanks, Ross.
Ross: Yeah, I'm paying you to stop, okay?

Joey: You okay?
Phoebe: I actually am. Because, you know, life's gonna hand you all kinds of stuff. You learn your little lessons and hopefully you grow. You wanna hear a new song?
Monica: We'd love to.
Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] Jingle bitch screwed me over. Go to hell, jingle whore. Go to hell, go to hell, go to he-he-hell. That's all I have so far.

Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] And fuchsia and mauve, Those are the 66 colors of my bedroom.
Thank you. Thank you. Oh, and I invite all of you to count the colors in your bedroom. Except for you. You go away.