Joey: Well, that's it. I'm done. Whew. Here come the meat sweats.
Monica: Well, Joey, we're all very proud of you.
Chandler: Yes, I believe we can expect a call from the president any moment now.
Phoebe: Is there anything we can do for you?
Joey: No. Just nobody press on my stomach.
Rachel: You can keep those pants, by the way.
Joey: Ooh, what you got there? What is that, pie?
Monica: Yeah. You want some?
Joey: Yeah, just cut me a little sliver. Little bigger. Little bigger. What are you afraid you're going to run out? Cut me a real piece!

Joey: You are my Everest.
Monica: Joey, you don't have to finish that.
Joey: Oh, yes, I do. Otherwise, what's next? Today I'm just a guy who can't finish a turkey, but tomorrow I'm the guy who eats half a Power Bar, wrap up the rest and puts it in the fridge? No. I just gotta change my pants. What was I thinking? Jeans have no give.

Joey: What are you talking about? One woman. That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream. Let me tell you something. There's lots of flavors out there. There's rocky road and cookie dough and, bing, cherry vanilla. You can get 'em with jimmies or nuts or whipped cream. This is the best thing to happen to you! You got married. You were like, what, 8? Welcome back to the world. Grab a spoon!

Carl: Hey, can I get a little piece of that cake?
Joey: Pizza. We like pizza. Get out!

Joey: Remember when you were a kid, your mom would drop you off at the movies with a jar of jam and a little spoon?
Rachel: You're so pretty.

Joey: Waiter? All right, this is gonna go fast, so try to keep up. Risotto with shaved truffles and the rib steak with the golden chanterelles and the Bordelaise sauce unless any of that stuff I just said means ''snails.''
Waiter: It does not.

Phoebe: Well, I still think that is a stupid reason not to call someone again. You are calling her, okay? And if you need to, then just get an extra plate of fries for the table.
Joey: I like that. A sharing buffer. Yeah. Yeah, I'll order some extra fries. Maybe a plate of onion rings. Yeah. Yeah. And a shrimp cocktail. And some Buffalo wings. Maybe- Maybe an individual pizza, huh? And some mozzarella sticks. What were we talking about?

[Emma cries]
Ross: Somebody's getting a little fussy.
Joey: You're damn right I am. I've been waiting for a cookie for seven minutes.

Joey: But we're getting rid of her, right? Please tell me we're getting rid of her?
Rachel: Joey, I can't do that.
Joey: Oh, come on. Last night I was finishing off a pizza, and she said: "Ooh, ooh, ooh. A moment on the lips, forever on the hips." I don't need that kind of talk in my house!

Amy: Uh. Sure you want to eat that?
Joey: I'm curvy and I like it!