Monk: What you got in this bag, boy? What kind of rations you got?
Chris: Careful! It's not lunch. It's an egg.
Monk: Hey, man, what's that, a booby trap or something, man?! You trying to kill me?They must have sent you to kill me, didn't they? You been ordered by my commanding officers, huh?
Chris: No, it's my class project. I'm supposed to take care of it like it's a baby for a week. And if anything happens to it, I get an "F."
Monk: What you mean, "If anything happens"? I'll tell you what happens. Try landing a helicopter at night in the middle of a sandstorm in the Iranian desert. "If anything happens." What if they don't tell you there's a sandstorm, huh? "If anything happens." What if your commanding officer doesn't tell you you'll be taking fire from the left or to the right or there's even going to be a sandstorm? "If anything happens." It's because you're commanding officer sent you on a mission that he knew was going to fail! "If anything happens." Boy, if all you got to do is take that egg and carry that egg around for one week and keep it alive? Boy, you don't know how good you got it. [scoffs] "If anything happens."
Adult Chris: [v.o.] What you talking about, Monk?
Chris: Sure do hope you're right.

Tonya: We can't even have one gift?
Julius: You live your whole life here for free. Tonya, you get gifts every day. Food is a gift. The heat is a gift. Your shoes are a gift. This house is a gift. Those frames on the walls are a gift. The magazines are a gift. That ashtray is a gift. This lampshade is a gift. [Rochelle sits down] That chair is a gift. This pillow is a gift. The remote control is a gift. The TV is a gift. [Rochelle turns the TV on] This carpet is a gift. The pink carpet in your room is a gift. That...
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Being able to cut out of this scene is a gift.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Meanwhile, my mother had another way of getting her point across.
Rochelle: The next time you ask me to do something after your father told you no, I'm going to pop the pores off your face, do you understand me?
Drew: Yes, ma'am.

Rochelle: Baby, what do you have to be stressed out about? You have a beautiful wife, two good jobs, and three wonderful kids, a nice home in Bed-Stuy... [chuckles] You're stressed? I mean, I'm the one who should be stressed. I mean, I got to deal with a house in the ghetto, three crazy kids, a man that's never home, and now I got to deal with you and this high blood pressure. [scoffing] You- You're stressed.

Chris: I want you to run with me. I want you to be my vice president.
Greg: No.
Chris: Yeah.
Greg: Oh, man. This is great. I can work behind the scenes. I can influence the judiciary committee. I can confer with the joint chiefs. Create policy!
Chris: Greg, it's the eighth grade.
Greg: I know, but this is the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That was until he met Seven of Nine at a Trekkie convention.

Julius: You can't just quit something 'cause you don't like it, Chris.
Chris: But Mom quits her job all the time.
Julius: But you're a man. And men don't quit. What if Jackie Robinson quit? What if George Washington Carver quit? What if Martin Luther King Jr. quit?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] When my father had a point to make, he always started off strong, but he never ended that way.
[45 minutes later:]
Julius: What if Colonel Sanders quit? What if Apollo Creed quit? What if Katherine Jackson quit making kids?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Ain't she a woman?!
Julius: They might be The Jackson Three. What if Kool from Kool and the Gang quit? You think they would have gotten a record contract if they were just called The Gang?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] To this day, I can't tell you what my father said but that smell stayed with me forever.

Julius: Aren't you supposed to be at work?
Rochelle: Well, I have a little time off.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] What actually happened was...
[flashback to Rochelle helping a customer when a woman walks over with a pair of shoes:]
Woman: Do you have these in a size eight?
Rochelle: Do you see me helping somebody else? All that hollerin' at people. I do not need this. My man has two jobs. And you ain't no damn eight. Get her an eleven!

Rochelle: Oh, hey, baby. How was work?
Julius: Hard.
Rochelle: You know, I was thinking that maybe we should go out, you know? Have dinner relax a little.
Julius: Why would I go out to relax, when I can relax at home for free?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That was my father's rationale for everything.
[flashback:]
Julius: $20 to get in the club? We can dance at home for free.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father hated buying Halloween candy. He didn't like spending money on stuff we kept, so buying stuff that we gave away almost drove him crazy.
Rochelle: Hey, baby.
Julius: What's up babe?
Rochelle: Nickers? What's a Nickers?
Julius: It's the same as a Snickers bar. But it's a lot cheaper. I go to this place, they got everything. Nickers, Two Musketeers, M&N's.
Rochelle: Julius, Gravy Way?
Julius: It's the same as a Milky Way. But it tastes like gravy.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] I didn't know Fat Mike's real name, I didn't know where he lived. All I knew was, I had to get my bike back, because if I didn't...
[fantasy:]
Tonya: Mama, where's Chris?
Rochelle: Somebody stole his bike after I told him not to let anybody ride it. So I smacked him into next week.
Drew: I told you.
Rochelle: He'll be back on Tuesday.