Father Peter: Hello, children.
All: Hello, Father.
Father Peter: Please, call me Peter.
Sister Michael: Christ.

Father Peter: So you claim you saw our blessed lady's features change, is that right?
Orla: The Virgin Mother smirked at us, Peter, that is correct.
Father Peter: I see. And after that, the statue, well, you claim it started weeping.
Clare: You're using the word "claim" a lot there, Peter.
Father Peter: Girls, I'm not here to make any judgments. I'm just trying to get the truth, that's all.
Clare: You think we're lying, don't you?
Father Peter: No, of course not.
Sister Michael: I do.

Jenny: This isn't fair. You can't let it happen, Sister.
Sister Michael: I know, but I'm bored now, so it looks like I probably will. Good luck, all.

Sister Michael: Don't even think about arguing. I can't be doing with the Board of Governors getting wind of something like this at the moment. They're a thorn in my arse at the best of times. I mean, for God's sake, Erin, what happened to Shoes of the World?
Erin: This is more important. This is about, you know, gay rights.
Sister Michael: I see. And I take it that's what the camp shirts are in aid of. A very serious uniform violation, by the way. But let's take one problem at a time, shall we?
Erin: This isn't a problem, Sister. This is ground-breaking journalism.
Sister Michael: They are not to be distributed tomorrow. Do I make myself clear?
James: But that's censorship.
Sister Michael: Well done. You are correct. You're being censored. Now go.

Sister Michael: Christ, this is penance. I'm not doing it again. I mean it this time. Up next we have... Orla McCool.

Sister Michael: Honestly, girls, I need my eight hours, but I've had Mary Quinn on the phone frying my head and now this.
Erin: What? My Mother rang? Why? Is everything OK?
Sister Michael: Ah, she was quite distressed. She wanted me to pass on a message.
Erin: And... are you going to?
Sister Michael: Oh, fine. [clears throat] "Uh, Erin, I need some information. Can you find out in a subtle way... if Michelle's mother was given the big bowl by someone she has since fallen out with and if she can no longer bring herself to look at the big bowl because it's just too painful. All the best, your mother Mary."
Erin: Well?
Michelle: No.

Sister Michael: I will be taking this class for the rest of the term, which makes me want to pull off my own face, but needs must.
Erin: [to Jenny] This was you, wasn't it? What did you do? What did you say?
Jenny: I don't know what you're talking about.
Erin: Aye, so you don't. Supergrass!
Sister Michael: That's quite enough.
Erin: You don't understand, sister. Ms. De Brún, she touched us.
Sister Michael: What?!
Erin: She made us think, she made us feel.
Sister Michael: [sighs] Oh, thank God. That would be all I need.
Erin: You can't sack her! You just can't!
Sister Michael: Miss Quinn, you appear to be under the misapprehension that you can address me as though you are my equal. I suggest you rein it in and take a seat.

Erin: But we were so upset by what happened to Ms De Brún. It was wrong. She shouldn't have been sacked.
Sister Michael: She wasn't.
Erin: What?
Ms De Brún: [enters] Sorry to interrupt, sister. But if I could just grab the old P45, then I'll be out of your way.
Erin: Excuse me?
Sister Michael: Ms De Brún has decided to leave us.
Ms De Brún: I got offered a post in St. Dominic's girls. Better wages, holiday pay, great pension - the works. I couldn't say no, really.
Erin: But what happened to living for the moment? What happened to "life should be spontaneous"?
Ms De Brún: Yeah, I know, but I'm buying a house and the mortgage rates are absolutely crippling at the minute.
Mary: Tell me about it.
Geraldine: Desperate.
Sister Michael: Part of the reason I became a nun - free accommodation.

Erin: Well, I guess we never knew who the real Ms De Brún was.
Mary: A bit like Keyser Soze.
Sister Michael: The fella with the bad leg.
Mary: What? Keyser Soze. He was the fella with the bad leg. He was talking absolute shite the whole time. He was one of those... Er, what do you call it? Unreliable narrators.
Mary: That's very clever.
Sister Michael: Yeah. I thought so, too.

Sister Michael: Ladies.
Clare: What happened, Sister?!
Sister Michael: This? This is nothing. You should see the other guy.