Woody: Dr. Crane, I didn't want to interrupt you while you were bleeding, but, uh, I found this box underneath one of the tables over there when I was sweeping up Nanny G's hair.
Frasier: "To Frederick from Nanny G." Oh, look! It's a little Nanny G doll. Oh, it says "push here."
Nanny G: [doll sings] Here's a silly little song To help you out when things go wrong
Frasier: Isn't that cute?
Nanny G: [doll sings] If you get lost and can't find home Just remember the number of your phone My number is 555-6792 555-6792 555-6792 That's 555...
Lilith: Frasier, this is her phone number. She's giving you her phone number.
Frasier: No, she's not.
Lilith: She doesn't want you to forget it.
Frasier: She's just using it as an example. [Lilith grabs the doll] Oh, Lilith, no, don't do- [Lilith rips the head off]
Lilith: There, gone and forgotten.
Norm, Cliff & Woody: [sing] 555-6792 555-6 [Lilith approaches them] Whoa! Whoa!

Rebecca: Oh, Lilith, being in charge again is so invigorating. I feel great! This will really show Sam.
Lilith: Bravo. Some men still need to learn that women can take on roles traditionally held by men and perform them as well or better. We live in an era of female brain surgeons, astronauts, Supreme Court Justices.
Rebecca: And bar managers.
Lilith: Yes.

Lilith: Mother, Frasier and I have spoken, and there's something I have to tell you about my wedding.
Betty Sternin: Oh, I just can't wait to see my little girl married. I am so sorry I missed it the first time!
Lilith: I can't wait either, Mommy.
Betty Sternin: Come along. We've got a lot to do.
Lilith: I'll be right there, Mommy. [to Frasier] A lot of help you were, you spineless bastard.

Frasier: Oh, my Lord. Is this my Lilith, so... So beautiful?
Lilith: "Beautiful"?
Frasier: And your hair. It's so gorgeous.
Lilith: My face is beautiful? My hair is gorgeous? What's next, I have a cute, little caboose?
Betty Sternin: Watch your mouth, Lilith.
Lilith: You know how much I hate this. I wouldn't have put this horrid paint on my face or worn this atrocious hairdo if my mother weren't emotionally blackmailing me into doing so.
Betty Sternin: "Blackmailing" you? How could you?!
Lilith: Shut up, Mother! It's bad enough I have to be your little girl, I don't have to be his, too. Now, for once in your life, keep your mouth shut and butt out! [Betty cries] I'm sorry, Mother.
Betty Sternin: Oh, no. It's so beautiful! I said the same thing to my mother on my wedding day. The tears, the unhappiness... I wouldn't have missed this for the world.

Rebecca: Lilith, look at me! Isn't this exciting?
Lilith: Yes. Every so often people need to recreate themselves. And frequently the metamorphosis has very positive results. You should've seen what I looked like back in my college days. Bowwow!

Paul: Sammy, we wouldn't go anywhere if you had a satellite dish.
Norm: Mm-hmm.
Sam: All right, all right, if it means that much to you, I will look into it, all right?
Lilith: l, for one, am filled with a sense of foreboding when I contemplate the future of a culture whose primary source of recreation is watching more and more mindless television. Don't you agree, Frasier?
Frasier: Now, why is Gilligan magnetized?
Lilith: Because he was struck by lightning. Every time this episode airs, you ask that question.

Frasier: Darling, what's taking you so long, just to write a simple card?
Lilith: We're the most articulate couple Woody and Kelly know. I'd like to leave them with some words they can reread and cherish twenty years from now.
Frasier: Yeah, if they're still married then. Forgive me if I seem unduly cynical, but geez, I've treated so many emotionally scarred husbands and wives, it's hard for me to get sentimental over a simple greeting card.
Carla: What'd you write?
Lilith: "May you never forget the way your hearts leapt up when first you gazed into each other's eyes."
Frasier: [crying] Oh, God Lilith! I still remember!

Rebecca: Whoa, guys, this is going to be some kind of wedding reception.
Sam: I tell you, it was pretty nice of Mr. Gaines to buy all his liquor from us. I think I'm going to throw in that special case of wine I got in here.
Rebecca: Sam, you might as well leave on your apron. You're going down to the cellar.
Sam: Oh, yeah, you're right. [hums as he puts on a hair net] It's all cobwebby down there. [exits]
Lilith: It's a perfectly sensible precaution. After all, it's not as though he slept in a shower cap.
Frasier: No.
Cliff: Oh, well, so what if he did? I mean, uh, like any guy might. You know, to keep the spiders off his head.
Lilith: Do you realize, when I publish my book on borderline psychosis, every penny I ever spent in this bar will be deductible?

Lilith: What's taking so long? Shouldn't the wedding have started by now?
Sam: Uh, well, something came up, Lilith. I'm afraid I can't go into it, but, uh, maybe it'd be a good idea if you went out there and, you know, were to sing and dance and use some of your natural talents to entertain people.
Lilith: Oh, my God, someone died, didn't they? You can count on me, Sam. Good heavens, death at a wedding. How appalling.

Cliff: [chuckles] Boy, Sammy, you ought to see Lilith out there. She's really working up a sweat, singing, dancing, doing impressions! She's doing everything but playing the spoons!
Lilith: [enters] I'm cooking. Give me an A-flat. [Sam taps two wine bottles together] Thank you. [spoons clacking] [sings] When you're smiling When you're smiling The whole world smiles [exits]
Norm: You know, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to let them see the corpse after all, eh?