Lindsay: Actually it's kind of nice to have a little me time.
Maeby: Oh, of course, that's why you were giving Herbert Love a little you time last night. You were flirting with him to get Marky out of jail.
Lindsay: Well, yeah, that is what I should have been - What I did, yeah, yeah. Mmm-hmm. That's exactly what I should have and did do.

Lindsay: Another paint bomb?
Marky Bark: No, a real one. On Cinco de Cuatro, Love's boat is going to...
Lindsay: Sink-o.
Marky Bark: go into the... Yes, sink-o. See, the Coast Guard is going to be busy that night, so after it's done, we slip away and make our way down to Mexico and reunite with Mom. I just have to find a boat that won't get chorizo caught in the propeller.

Narrator: Lindsay arrives at the border she had just called for a wall to protect.
Lindsay: Oh, they have one. [laughs nervously]
Border Guard: [speaks Spanish]
Driver: He wants your passport.
Lindsay: Oh, I didn't bring a [scoffs] I'm American. How do you say "I'm American" in Mexican?
Driver: Soy americano.
Lindsay: Hmm. That does sound good. Ask him for two.
Narrator: Lindsay is proud that she thought to include her driver.

Narrator: Lindsay had also made it to Mexico, and was enjoying the fact that men were more respectful.
Bartender: Puta Night is Thursday.
Lindsay: That's so nice. No, I'm not.
Narrator: That was based on her belief that "puta" meant "young."
Lindsay: No. Puta. [whispers] I try to stay out of the sun.

Narrator: And that's when she saw what appeared to be a Mexican version of her father.
Lindsay: Oh, my God.
Oscar: Lindsay. What are you doing here?
Lindsay: Guess I just had to get away.
Oscar: I was just ordering lunch. Can I buy you lunch?
Lindsay: Oh, yeah. I'm so hungry, I could eat.

Lindsay: There may be some compromising pictures of me with the candidate Herbert Love. If she saw those, she'd never let me hear the end of it.
Oscar: Oh, listen, you're intelligent and you're wonderful and ethical and you're great. I mean, don't worry. She's jealous.
Narrator: Lindsay had never heard her father talk this way.
Lindsay: Jealous of me?
Oscar: Mm.
Lindsay: It's probably just because I'm younger. A puta.

Narrator: She had her mother mock a reporter who had a speech problem...
Lindsay: This so-called reporter from the Wee Guardian says I was right. Now, suddenly, she's [English accent] "Perhaps I've recalled incorrectly. I'm positively knackered." [cheering, laughing]

Michael: You're not dressed yet? I thought you were working for me today at the office.
Lindsay: You guys stay open during spring break?
Michael: Well, we're not Orthodox. But don't worry about it.

Maeby: What are you doing here?
Lindsay: [hoarse] I thought I'd spend a little time with my daughter. After all, it hasn't been that long since I've been in high school. [bell rings] Is that a fire?
Maeby: We have to go to class.

Lindsay: Oh, absolutely, I've done everything to make this marriage work.
Bob Loblaw: That's interesting. Can you tell me what your plans are for this evening?
Lindsay: Uh... I have plans with a friend.
Bob Loblaw: A man? What's his name, please?
Treat: Don't answer that.
Bob Loblaw: I withdraw the question. Why don't we stop for the day so Mrs. Funke can get to her date with her mysterious Mister Blah-Blah-Blah. At 8:30, unless you want to sit at the bar.