Tobias: Do you think we really need one?
James Carr: I'm just gonna interrupt for a second. You don't need a wine cellar, if you want to do wine tastings in your butler's kitchen.
Lindsay: I mean, this really isn't what we discussed.
Tobias: Well, we didn't discuss any of this, but, uh, yes, I guess, that way, we have it.
Lindsay: Well, yeah...
James Carr: That way, you'll definitely have it.

James Carr: And then once you have it, that way, you'll have it.
Tobias: But do we need a gatehouse?
James Carr: I just put John Beard into a house with a double gatehouse. Now, that's John Beard, he's on television. No one's gonna look down on you just 'cause you have less than John Beard.
Tobias: Is this crazy?
Lindsay: I think so. We'll take the double gatehouse.
Tobias: Oh, is that what you thought?
Lindsay: Well, that way, we'll have it.
Tobias: We have it.
James Carr: And that way, you have it.
Narrator: There was a lot of this going on back then.
Tobias: This way, we have it.

Narrator: And soon, they were starting their new life in their new beautiful home.
Lindsay: Mother's Day eve was the most joyous day of the year. Maeby, you're gonna be late for school.
Narrator: And what they lost in coziness...
Lindsay: God, they grow up so slowly.
Narrator: they made up for in cavernous...
Lindsay: And the robot's dead again.
Narrator: ...unfurnished space.
Tobias: Uh, poor little guy. Ran out of juice before he could reach his...

Lindsay: But how am I supposed to say something like, "I love you, Mother," and sound believable?
Tobias: Look, Jesus- Jesus C. Penny! You know, I wish I had the luxury of not sounding believable. But that's not an option for an out-of-work actor, is it?
Lindsay: Or it's why you're out of work!
Tobias: Well, I beg one's pardon, but I have been dying to go to that Method Acting Clinic that I see on my nightly drives, but you won't let me!
Lindsay: Because you already wasted all that money on Carl Weathers' Master Acting Class.
Tobias: Well, I'm sorry, but I'm such a star [bleep] that I didn't pay attention to anything he said!
Lindsay: Oh, well, then, maybe I should go to your Method Acting Class to make my testimony more believable!
Tobias: That's actually a good idea. Maybe you could- [talk at normal levels] Oh! Hi. Yes. Well, perhaps we should go together.
Lindsay: Yeah. Might be good for us, as a couple.
Tobias: I do hope so. I really want to make this work.
Lindsay: Me, too. I really love you, Tobias.
Tobias: Oh, Lindsay, we have got to get you to that acting clinic.
Lindsay: And that was with me picturing fudge.

Lindsay: I love it here. My mother would hate this place.
Marky Bark: You know, Lindsay, I have to tell you, when I first met you, I thought you were one of those typical, uptight, snobby, Newport Beach, vapid... [shouts] Nut-busters! You know, one of those monsters that lives in a 10,000-square-foot house that they destroyed the wetlands for.
Lindsay: Those were wetlands? [sighs] That explains our Thanksgiving miracle.
[flashback:]
Maeby: What do you mean, you didn't make dinner?
Lindsay: I didn't realize it was Thursday, okay? There's got to be something here. [Lindsay opens a cupboard and finds a duck]
Tobias: Get it! Get it!
Lindsay: Chase it into the oven!
Tobias: Come on. Come on.
Lindsay: Here, little ducky.
Tobias: That's a good duck. Good duck. In you go! This is going to be the greatest Thanksgiving ever.
Lindsay: It's a miracle!

Lindsay: Well, I actually do live in a fairly large house right now. But we've never made a payment on it.
Marky Bark: So you're sticking it to big banking. That's cool.
Lindsay: Yes. In fact, I'm only in America because a shaman told me that love would come to me when I accepted who I am and didn't run away.
Marky Bark: Sounds like a good shaman.
Lindsay: Oh, he was the house shaman at the Four Seasons Mumbai, so you figure he's got to be pretty good. Oh, and he turned into an ostrich at the end, so... They're not going to have that at the Embassy Suites.

Narrator: Even though it was only 100 miles from her hometown of Newport Beach, the desert created a whole new value system for Lindsay Bluth.
Lindsay: I'd give $20,000 for a lemonade right now.
Narrator: For the most part.

Marky Bark: I knew you wouldn't be on board with this, Lindsay. I'm sorry to say this, but you are losing your passion.
Lucille: What passion?
Marky Bark: Oh.
Lindsay: You don't even look at me. I don't know if I've said this before, it's not important or anything but I'm really, really pretty.
Marky Bark: I'm the straightest guy you know!
Lindsay: Why does every man feel like they have to say that to me?

Narrator: Lindsay andher boyfriend Marky arrived in, get this, Beverly Hills to prepare for their act of glittery social protest. But Lindsay was having second thoughts.
Lindsay: Marky, look, um, I have this check that my mother wrote for my daughter. It can buy us a lot of leaflets against Love. And also a lot of Nature's Miracle. There's a huge sale going on right now at Petco.

Maeby: I thought you were supposed to be sticking it to the man, not the other way around.
Lindsay: Maeby. You think he likes me that way?
Maeby: No, Mom, that's Herbert Love, the man you're here to protest.
Herbert Love: [to TV cameras] And I hear the guy with the bomb snuck up here from Mexico. That's why I say, we have got to build a wall between us and Mexico.
Lindsay: Oh, no.
Maeby: How could you not recognize him?
Narrator: In fairness to Lindsay, it was Marky's face-blindness that led him to mistake this photo for the candidate. Why Lindsay failed to recognize musical icon Nat King Cole cannot be explained.