Narrator: Michael headed home to tell Buster his plan for making the family come back.
Michael: I've sent away the fumigator, and all you got to do, so we can declare you missing, is stay out of sight for about 72 hours.
Buster: Milford style.
Michael: Hmm?
Buster: I'm a Milford man, Michael.
Michael: Yeah?
Buster: Winner of 1982's Least Seen on Campus. Oh, I wish I could've seen their faces at the ceremony.

Maeby: I just feel like I gotta move on with my life, you know? Find some meaning. Get going with my own goop.
George Michael: Goop? What is goop?
Maeby: If you have to ask, you probably don't know what it is.
George Michael: I don't know what it is. I feel like maybe you don't know what it is.
Maeby: Maybe it's "go-op"?
George Michael: To me, that would make less sense.
Maeby: Maybe that's what "go-op" is. Not everything always making sense.
Narrator: It isn't.

Lucille: So, unless some angel descends on a golden chariot, we're completely over-leveraged.
Tobias: And maybe you don't want to get hurt because, as I say, hurt people... hurt people.
Lucille: Oh, that's nice. I always say, "Make people cry, make people cry." But yours includes the people who don't want to give you the satisfaction.

Buster: You always come back to save the family, Michael. We joke about that all the time.
Michael: Well, I don't know what the joke is, okay? I've been trying to do the right thing.
Buster: [laughs] "Hi, I'm Michael, and I save everyone so I feel special, even though you don't deserve it. So I'm leaving and I won't be coming back."
Michael: Buster-
Buster: "Oh! Look who's back. I thought we were supposed to go [bleep] with a [bleep] ." "Mmm, you would know, Mother. You practically invented [bleep] [bleep] when you get sauced!" [gasps] "How dare you point that limp [bleep] hook at me when I saved you from one! I can't believe I pushed you out of my [bleep] , you useless [bleep] freak!" [inhales deeply]
Michael: Covered a lot of ground there.
Buster: Yeah.
Michael: Although I'm glad I won't be leaving you alone.

Michael: Lucille 2 is probably gonna be back from whatever bender she's on. She's gonna be as dry as, uh... Well, Lucille 1.
Buster: I can hear Mother winking now.

Narrator: But back in America, Michael was working on a way to make his runaway family return.
Michael: So, we gotta wait about 48 hours before we declare you missing, and then they put out an APB.
Buster: APB. "Aw, poor Buster." That's nice.

Michael: Nothing to worry about. They're looking for Lucille Austero. They want to question you.
Buster: Why would I know anything about Lucille 2? I hope you didn't say we were dating.
Michael: Uh, well, I mean, you you did live with her.
Buster: Well, I lived with Mother, too. Did you think we were dating? [chuckles]
Michael: Question's been asked.

Lucille: Oh, this is pointless. How many more sessions do I have to endure until I'm done with... no offense... you?
Tobias: [chuckles] Legally, two. But I am in the family. I mean this is my family.
Lucille: My daughter is divorcing you. This is it.
Tobias: I'm confused by the word "it." Are you implying that you don't want to see me anymore?
Lucille: I'm confused by the word "anymore."

Narrator: Michael had decided to leave town, and needed to get out of his obligation to make a movie about his family.
Kitty: Michael! You had one job. You had to get your son to sign the releases! Ron Howard wants to make a heartfelt father-son drama that has a good clean message for his illegitimate daughter to star in. Don't pull this on me because we've already reserved the soundstages and he's already started paying off the Hollywood Foreign Press.
Narrator: No, they're great.

Michael: But, you know, it's a bummer that you can't come with me, Buster, but you need to stay and talk to the cops.
Buster: Cops? What cops? Why would you bring the cops into this?
Michael: They're already looking for you.
Buster: What? The cops are looking for me?
Michael: A cop, actually.
Buster: I can't be talking to the cops.
Michael: Listen.
Buster: [high-pitched] I don't do good with the cops. I didn't do anything. I don't know what's going on.
Michael: Relax.
Buster: I ain't got no truck with no blue.