Michael: You're running for office now?
Lindsay: [chuckles] As a matter of fact, I am. I want to be part of the problem.

Lucille: You know our family motto. We forget, but we never forgive.
Michael: I remember the framed needlepoint.
Lucille: You'll see. In life, you don't want to carry that much hate.
Michael: Although, by not forgiving, you're throwing everything out and just keeping the hate.
George Sr.: Well, how do you think she keeps that figure?

Narrator: George Sr. and Gob had also been in Mexico and were growing tired of their fruitless peacocking.
George Sr.: I hate everything about my life, including you.
Gob: Well, that's not the horniest thing I've heard.
George Sr.: Daddy not horny.
Gob: Yeah, I guess these shirts kind of pumped up the pressure on that.
George Sr.: [laughs] I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like one of these bulls on my breasts. [chuckles] His whole life, he's bred to be the strongest and the toughest and he's got to have the biggest balls. Why? So when you're in your prime, they can drug you and throw you out in front of a crowd of people who all just want to see you die so some guy in crushed velvet pants can come out and just stick a sword in you. You're a bull who wants to stick it in everybody, and everybody ends up sticking it in you.

Lucille: And we didn't want the crew in our house.
George Sr.: No, and it was okay with Lucille 2. She gave us the key.
Lucille: It was during the 1992 African-American riots, and they had every right.
George Sr.: Every right.
Lindsay: Every right. Mmm.

Tobias: Okay. I have to pull myself out of this part. [chuckles] I'm going in and out of Michael like a cuckoo clock bird.

Narrator: And GOB started opening up, too.
Gob: I tried to buy those velvet pants. But I chickened out and got these shirts instead. I have a friend, this guy Tony not a friend. He's nice. He had a face like mine but same.
[Bee Gees "I Started a Joke" plays] ♫ I started a joke ♫
Gob: Hello, darkness.
♫ Which started the whole world crying ♫
Gob: Sorry, I'm taken. What's that from?

Michael: Who is giving you this award?
Gob: Check it, Mike. My anchor is giving us the award. See, she used to be an Orange County weather girl, which is just tits, teeth and ass, right? Now she's the host of O.C. Can You Say, which is tits, teeth, public affairs, ass, some light interviews. I mean, it's so much more responsibility!
Joni Beard: He's making it sound more important than it really is.
Michael: Is he?
Lucille: She was married to that news anchor who said such horrible things about me when I was trying to save Buster with that boat. John Beard.
Gob: Yeah. Well, she's my Beard now.

George Michael: So the kissing is part of a plan?
Maeby: Yeah. I thought we could do it when the whole family is on camera getting the Family of the Year Award.
George Michael: Family of the Year Award? Who'd give us that?
Maeby: We're giving it to ourselves.
George Michael: Right. Still doesn't seem like we'd get the votes.

Narrator: Michael Bluth had just reunited with his family.
Tobias: Although, now that the original Michael's back, I suppose we don't need two hands-on-our-hips, pipe-up-our-rectum scolds.
Lindsay: So you can go.
Tobias: Back to playing Tobias. Yes. Exactly, because I am still a valued family member. At least until both signatures are on the divorce papers, which were so cruelly served to me from the back seat of my car by someone who thought I was a Lyft driver.
Michael: Could have been the pink mustache.
Tobias: Oh, how funny. Lucille thought it looked pink, too.
Gob: That's because everybody's thinking about Tony Wonder's beard. It was pink, right?
Tobias: I dyed it what I assumed was the color of Michael's skin. Although now that you're back, I do wish I had used a less permanent dye.

Lindsay: There may be some compromising pictures of me with the candidate Herbert Love. If she saw those, she'd never let me hear the end of it.
Oscar: Oh, listen, you're intelligent and you're wonderful and ethical and you're great. I mean, don't worry. She's jealous.
Narrator: Lindsay had never heard her father talk this way.
Lindsay: Jealous of me?
Oscar: Mm.
Lindsay: It's probably just because I'm younger. A puta.