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‘Family Leave’ Quotes Page 1 of 3    

Arrested Development: Family Leave

501. Family Leave

Aired May 29, 2018

When Michael returns to the penthouse after being punched by his own son, he tries to avoid Lucille 2 although his efforts are all for naught. Meanwhile, George Michael feels bad about hitting his father.

Quote from Steve Holt

Narrator: Michael Bluth left for his date with Rebel, surprised to find people working on what he thought was a holiday.
Michael: Boy, you guys don't miss a day, huh?
Narrator: Michael had missed two.
Steve Holt: Yeah.
Michael: What, are you tenting the place?
Steve Holt: Hey, Michael. Yeah. We're getting everything prepped. Not sure if Maeby's in there, or Tobias, or something? Mind if we use the stairs? Gob said he heard something in the attic.
Michael: Oh, yeah, uh, well... Hopefully, it's not my father.
Steve Holt: [chuckles] George Sr.! [laughs]
Michael: Okay. This bug guy really knows our family.

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Quote from Maeby

Maeby: [on the phone] He turned actually out to be a teenager, posing as an undercover cop, posing as a teenager. It's hard to explain.
George Michael: No, that actually happened to, like, two of my neighbors at Sudden Valley.
Maeby: Well, they're not putting me in Sudden Valley. I'll tell you that much. That's why I'm here, picking up anything I left behind that might be incriminating. You know? Just panties, leggings, corsets, the sex knobs, and one of those double-headed bondage things with the curly choke leash.
George Michael: That's probably a landline.
Maeby: Ew, gross! She put her ear on that?

Quote from Maeby

Maeby: Well, if he said it was nothing and now you apologize, you're gonna make it something. I mean, what did Gangie always say? "Forget, but never forgive."
George Michael: You think she meant to say it that way?
Maeby: Yeah.
George Michael: Do you think "A friend in need is no friend indeed" was also on purpose? Or what about "They should take the rapists and murderers and put them all together on an island...
Maeby: "and all the murderers can be raped, the rapists can be murdered"
Both: "until you only have either two rapists or"
Maeby: "one murderer"
George Michael: "one raped murderer"
Both: "but who cares about him?"
Maeby: Oh, was it "one raped murderer"?
George Michael: I've heard her say it both ways. I mean, in all likelihood, the guy would be raped.

Quote from Michael

Michael: So, I have no idea where she is, but, uh, my mother is at Austerity. It's a rehab clinic.
Lt. Toddler: Actually, we checked the rehab and your mother wasn't there.
Narrator: Actually, when Lucille 2 first went missing, Lucille 1 took the opportunity to compel her therapist to change her status from in to outpatient, bypassing both the Austerity Clinic's red tape as well as its security tape.
Lt. Toddler: And she was remanded to the care of your brother-in-law, Tobias Funghi?
Michael: F-
Lt. Toddler: You don't happen to know the license plate of the car he drives, do you?
Michael: His license plate number? No, I don't. I barely know my own license plate number, much less my brother-in... It's A-N-U-S and then for some reason T-A-R-T.
Lt. Toddler: "A new start."
Michael: Well, if you saw it written out, I don't think that you would... Let me try this one on you. A-N-A-L-R-A-P...

Quote from Narrator

Narrator: Michael Bluth had been away from his family for two months, and his life had never seemed better. While at a tech company famous for providing access to any information, except for its own name.

Quote from Michael

Michael: Hi, sorry I'm late. How you doing? Konnichiwa.
Self Defense Instructor: So, is your family joining you?
Michael: No. They will not be joining, um, but, um, maybe just, uh, one of their kids can take a swing at me, huh?
Narrator: While he believed he had put his family behind him...
Self Defense Instructor: This class is geared more to self-defense for the family, not...
Michael: Not from the family.
Narrator: ...there were some unresolved issues.
Michael: I get that. Do you have family-on-family stuff? Okay. A few years ago, I would have given you the same look.

Quote from Narrator

Narrator: And soon, George Michael was acting like a well, a movie producer, too. She was raised by a different mother than Ron's other kids. It's just a whole different thing over there.

Quote from Buster

Buster: Am I that much of a monster, Michael? Even to you?
Narrator: No, not at all, I just wasn't expecting, uh, you know, a man to be sitting in a Scuba Jr., leaping out at me up in the attic, that's all. [both chuckle] That's all.
Buster: Whoo, I guess that is a little strange. You should've seen your face. Yeah, yeah, well You looked like a little girl.
Michael: Oh, God! [shouts] Look at that. Got a new hand?
Buster: No, I just took the skin off. It's in the dryer.

Quote from Michael

Michael: Buddy, you cannot be up here, okay?
Buster: The tent thing, I know. I mean, thank God I found some scuba equipment because they are fumigating.
[hand whirring]
Michael: Yeah. The skin really muffles the sound on that.
Buster: There's another suit over there; it's a smaller size, though.
Michael: Uh... [stammers] That's my son's. We never got a chance to use it.
Buster: Oh. Probably too young to be around the fumes.
Michael: No, pal, we were gonna use this scuba gear for scuba diving. Underwater. Not to hang out in a poison cloud.

Quote from Buster

Michael: It's father-son bonding we never got to do.
Buster: Aw.
Michael: Put it on the long list of regrets.
Buster: Well, I've had plenty of those with Mom.
Michael: Have you?
Buster: We used to always want to play dress-up. Her as Jackie O., me as John-John... But we [chuckles] No, I guess we did get to do that a couple of times. I guess that isn't a regret.
Michael: Yeah, no, it should be.

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