Barbara: Well, my suggestion to all of you is to enjoy your free periods while you can. Because music class will be going bye-bye-bye like Blackstreet Boyz II Men.
Janine: Mm, mnh, no. Wrong in like three ways.

Barbara: Well, if they do go with a Black actor, I hope they go with that Mr. Brian Austin Green. I'm so proud of that young man and all of his success.
Gregory: Uh...
Janine: Tuh-tuh-tuh!
[aside to camera:]
Janine: So, there are a bunch of white celebrities who Barbara thinks are Black. Like, Brian Austin Green would be Brian Tyree Henry.
[flashback to Barbara greeting her class:]
Barbara: Ooh, I see you, little Carrie Underwood. Good morning.
[aside to camera:]
Jacob: Kerry Washington.
[flashback to Barbara and Melissa leaving the school:]
Barbara: I'm going straight home, put on a little Millie Bobby Brown.
[aside to camera:]
Melissa: Bobby Brown.
[flashback to Barbara walking in the hallway with Ava:]
Barbara: No one's done more for Black actors than Tommy Lee Jones.
[aside to camera:]
Ava: James Earl Jones.
[aside to camera:]
Janine: And we just let her keep thinking that. It's easier.

Barbara: And if they go with a woman, you cannot go wrong with the splendid, the wonderful Michelle Williams. Mm-mm-mm! Now, that is one talented diva. Mm, yes. Mm-hmm.
Jacob: She is arguably the third best child of Destiny.
Barbara: And all the way to the Academy Awards from Dawson's Creek. Oh, yes, Michelle. Mm.
Janine: So close.

Janine: Did anybody see where Baby Thanos went?
Gregory: He has to be in here somewhere.
Baby Thanos: [over intercom] It's Halloween. Kids deserve candy. It's not fair to keep it from us. I am inedible! [children cheering]
Janine: I think he means, "I am inevitable."
Melissa: Yeah, okay.
Barbara: Mm, Baby Theranos is in Ava's office!

Barbara: [aside to camera] As a good Christian woman, I would never mark my body with such an obscenity. I don't even believe in saying that word out loud. Ugh. My favorite "B" word? Barbara. Oh! Bible. [gasps] Blessing. Blueberries.

Barbara: [laughs] Maybe I should do it. Oh. [British accent] 'Ello, dearie. Yes. You know, I'm interested in receiving some information about churnninggg Abbott charter. Yes. [normal voice] It's working. [Jamaican accent] Yeah, mon. I said go. You just want send me the information like that? Bye-bye.
Melissa: I'm not going to lie, Barb, that was pretty fricking good.
Ava: Barb, I had no idea you were this talented. You a damn genius.
Barbara: [Jamaican accent] We are going to need all the genius we can get, because the damn Legendary is coming for us. [normal voice] Legendary is coming for us.
Melissa: [clears throat] We got it.

Barbara: Ooh, what in the immaculate reception?!

Barbara: [enters] Sweet baby Jesus, and the grown one, too! My desks have been desked!
Mr. Johnson: They got you?
Barbara: Mm-hmm.
Gregory: Oh, this is bad.
Barbara: Mnh!
Melissa: Their fault. They went on a desking promotional tour.
Jacob: No, uh...
Barbara: What have you done?

Barbara: Janine. Turn that down, please! I'm trying to teach my kindergartners the letter "C," and they are distracted by this song. It's like "Back That Azz Up" for kids.
Janine: Hey, guys, um, could you sit down, please? [music continues] Guys, I'm gonna count to 3. 1... 2...
Barbara: And I am not counting. Sit down! [music stops]
[aside to camera:]
Barbara: I'm Barbara Howard, woman of God. I do my work, I go home. I get my nails done every week. And... I love teaching.

Barbara: Janine, ignore Ava. Big feet are a sign of fertility.
Janine: Every lunch period, Barbara. Every single one, Amir comes and naps on the rug.
Barbara: Mm-hmm. He was in my class. Mom's got a lot of kids. Dad's not around, and when he is, the parents fight.
Janine: Right. So he doesn't get much sleep. I told him to sleep at his desk, but he says the rug is softer... softer than his bed at home. You know what? I don't care if you think I'm good at this or not anymore. I care about whether or not I can make a change.
Barbara: Janine, teachers at a school like Abbott... we have to be able to do it all. We are admin. We are social workers. We are therapists. We are second parents. Hell, sometimes, we're even first.
Melissa: Mm-hmm.
Barbara: Why? Heh, it sure ain't the money.
Melissa: Mm-hmm. I could make more working the street... easy. Look, we do this 'cause we're supposed to. It's a calling.
Janine: Mm.
Melissa: You answered.