Jim: Either way, Dwight, I can't be there for you. I'm sorry.
Dwight K. Schrute: Jim.
Jim: I just really wish there was something I could do. [looks off into the distance]
Dwight K. Schrute: [turns around] Michael. I can't believe you came.
Michael Scott: That's what she said.
Jim: [to camera] Best prank ever.

Gabe: Michael, you are making this harder than it has to be.
Michael Scott: That's what she said.

Michael Scott: I love this place, and it pains me to see all of the negativity festering. Okay. Today we are going to get everything out of these files and into the open where it can be resolved. All right. How about the Phyllis-Angela dispute.
Angela: You already did me.
Michael Scott: That's what she said.

Jan: Why is this so hard? That's what she said. Oh, my God, what am I saying?

Mr. Schneider: Can you go back to where this digression began?
Stenographer: "Mr. Schneider: 'And you were directly under her the entire time?' Mr. Scott: 'That's what she said.'"
Michael Scott: Well... Delivery's all wrong. She's butchering it.

Lester Synder: How long have you known the plaintiff?
Michael Scott: I haven't actually seen it. But I have seen The Firm, and I plan on renting The Pelican Brief.
Mr. Schneider: How long have you known Ms. Levinson?
Michael Scott: Six years and two months.
Mr. Schneider: And you were directly under her the entire time?
Michael Scott: That's what she said.
Mr. Schneider: Excuse me?
Michael Scott: That's what she said.
Mr. Schneider: Ms. Levinson told you that she was your direct superior?
Michael Scott: Wh- Why would she say that?
Jan: Can we just move on to another question?

Michael Scott: And the best way to start is to hit "Start". And up comes the tool bar. That's what she said.

Michael Scott: The world sends people your way. Ryan came to me through a temp agency. Andy was transferred here. No idea where Creed came from. The point is you just have to play with the cards that you're dealt. Jim, that guy is an ace. Dwight is my king up my sleeve. Phyllis is my old maid. Oscar is my queen. That's easy. Gimme a hard one. That's what Oscar said. Toby is the instruction card you throw away. Pam's a solid seven. And yeah, you know what? Ryan is probably, like, a two. But sometimes twos can be wild. So watch out. And I am obviously the joker. So... [phone rings, computer chimes, dog barks] That's, uh...
Robotic Voice: WUPHF, from Ryan Howard. Decided to sell company. Thanks, bro. Hell of a ride
Michael Scott: Thank God.

Michael Scott: Attention, everyone. Hello. Yes, I just want you to know that, this is not my decision, but from here on out, we can no longer be friends. And when we talk about things here, we must only discuss work-associated things. And you can consider this my retirement from comedy. And in the future, if I want to say something funny, or witty, or do an impression, I will no longer ever do any of those things.
Jim: Does that include "that's what she said"?
Michael Scott: Yes.
Jim: Wow, that is really hard. You really think you can go all day long? Well, you always left me satisfied and smiling, so-
Michael Scott: That's what she said!

Michael Scott: We are not in the playground anymore. There are new rules. We have to be mature, but we can't lose the spirit of childlike wonder. What is love anyway? Maybe it's supposed to break all the rules. Like me and Jan. Or Oscar and some guy. Life is short. When two people find each other, what should stand in their way? I'm glad if today spurred social change. That's part of my job as regional manager. But, you know what, even if it didn't, at least we put this matter to bed. That's what she said. Or he said.