Adam: Mom, I spoke to my guidance counselor, and he told me I can't get into NYU with those scores.
Beverly: Oh, my! That is shocking and disappointing and not coming from me.
Adam: So, I've decided I'm not going to college.
Beverly: Say what now?
Adam: Yeah, Mr. Perott said I don't need it.
Beverly: Did he, though? [chuckles] That rascal.

Murray: Hey! Why'd you turn off Tootie? She was about to give Mrs. Garrett the what for.
Beverly: Adam, I completely stand by your decision not to go to college.
Murray: What?!
Adam: Mom!
Beverly: Oh, no. Did I let that slip?
Murray: What's she talking about, moron?
Adam: My guidance counselor told me to be inspired by life.
Murray: That's it. I'm going down and talking to him.
Beverly: Murray, no!
Murray: Come on! Move!

Beverly: Let's respect Adam's choice.
Adam: Dad!
Murray: Moron! [exits]
Beverly: I tried to stop him.
Murray: [returns] Keys. [exits]
Adam: Mom!
Beverly: If only there was something I could do.
Murray: Name?
Beverly: Perott. Third door on the left, main hallway.

Barry: Well, spring break is a disaster.
Ren: Dude, I didn't come to the murky shores of Camaica to give up. Let's get some lobster.
Barry: Lobster? But our "College Saver Brass Package" said the only restaurants we have access to is the vending machines.
Ren: Just follow my lead.

Ren: Hi. You're probably expecting us for dinner. We're on our honeymoon.
Waitress: Are you the Fergusons?
Barry: What? No. That's not right.
Ren: [laughs] What? Honey. Yes, of course it is. He's still getting used to me taking his name. [Barry chuckles]
Waitress: Well, you're a day early, but welcome.

Waitress: Congratulations, lovebirds. Your complimentary lobster is on the way.
Barry: Complimentary?
Waitress: Of course. You have the honeymoon all‐inclusive package.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Yep, thanks to Ren, Barry's spring break was about to turn around. There was the fancy dinner and the fancier dessert, even fancy table‐side entertainment. Sure, it wasn't the night Barry imagined, but it was epic.
Ren: And then after years...
Barry: Mm. Years.
Ren: of hinting and waiting and that terrible fight with my mom...
Barry: Mm. We don't talk about that.
Ren: [chuckles] ...he finally popped the question.
Jen: You know, we really have to get together when we're back on the mainland.
Barry: Absolutely, Jen! Me and the wife would love to have you and Tom over to discuss politics or lawnmowers or other boring married stuff. [chuckles]
Jen: Let me get a picture of the two of you for my good old scrapbook. Say "cheese"!
Barry: Chee‐‐ [Ren kisses Barry]
Adult Adam: [v.o.] In that moment, Barry's trip went from a bust to the best ever.
Barry: Spring break!
Ren: Whoo!

Adam: So, I've been thinking. After high school, I won't go straight to L.A., I'll bum around Europe a bit. You know, not all who wander are lost.
Beverly: I love everything about this new hobo plan for your future.
Adam: Well, I don't wanna be late for school. Although, who cares? I'm not trying to go to college, right? [laughs]
Beverly: You slay me, Schmoo. [laughs] Have a great day not trying. [Adam exits] Oh [bleep] everything!
Pops: So, what's new?
Beverly: What's new is that I need a real college counselor, one with balls.
Pops: Oh, y‐you mean someone who can put the fear of God into Adam?
Beverly: Better. Someone I can put the fear of God in to put the fear of God into Adam.

Barry: Ahh. There's my better half. I had an amazing time last night, Mrs. Me.
Ren: [chuckles] Dude, nobody's around. You don't have to act like that. Oh, and I asked around at the pool, and everybody says that Señor Snake is the best club to hook up.
Barry: Hook up? As in search out other people we would kiss that wouldn't be each other?
Ren: That's a long road, but yeah. Whoa. You look kinda sick. Are you sure you don't have what Erica has?
Barry: I've never felt better. Sure, we spent all night talking and connecting so I'll know exactly what kind of strangers you'll want to kiss. Let's club.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] And so they clubbed. Deep down, Barry couldn't have fun. He hated watching his fake wife flirt.
Club DJ : Alright! How low can you go?
Barry: [sighs] I don't think I can go any lower.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Except he did. That night, Barry crushed the limbo contest.
Club DJ : We got ourselves a winner!
Adult Adam: [v.o.] But he sure didn't feel like it.
Barry: I need to say something. I came here to have the spring break of a lifetime, to party with my boys and hook up with girls. [cheering] No! No! Don't cheer that, because the sun, fun, and buns are meaningless, fleeting distractions.
Ren: Barry, what's going on?
Barry: What's going on is I felt something when we kissed, and I gotta know... did you feel something, too?
Ren: I'm sorry. I... I was just... having fun.
Club DJ : Ooh! She wasn't feeling it... but I feel something. Da, da, da beat! [cheering] [island music plays]

Adam: You switched my guidance counselor?
Beverly: Only because he wasn't telling you what I wanted you to hear.
Adam: Oh, then why didn't you just tell me? Instead, I got caught up in some kind of ward triangle.
Beverly: I was just trying to be supportive.
Adam: No, you weren't. You just wanted me to think you were supportive. You were trying to control me.
Beverly: Okay, fine. But you are making a huge mistake. You won't have a good future if you don't go to college, and you can't do that if you don't try to raise your score.
Adam: I did try, and I still blew it. At least you supporting me made me feel it wasn't the end of the world, but that was all a lie.