Mr. Glascott: Wow. What a great turnout tonight. The four of you. [chuckles] Have a good night, Chaka Khan.
[Glascott gets into his car]
Mr. Glascott: You really had them in your pocket tonight, Johnny Boy. [smooches] [engine starts]
Beverly: Good evening, John.
Mr. Glascott: Sweet Sheena Easton!
Beverly: I just popped by to say thank you for helping Adam.
Mr. Glascott: You know, I have an office with a phone you can call.
Beverly: What fun would that be? Now, unlock your door and let's figure out what we're gonna do next year.
Mr. Glascott: Fine. I'll move my wigs.

Erica: Excuse me? Um, are we at the right hotel? Moccasins: Camaica?
Lon MacDowell: Welcome! That smell is not the ocean! [chuckles]
Erica: But it doesn't look like the pictures in the brochure.
Lon MacDowell: Well, that's because those were architectural renderings, which we ignored.
Ren: It's fine. Could you please just show us to our... Oh, God! Is that a snake?!
Lon MacDowell: Probably. This hotel's named Moccasins because of all the water moccasins.
Geoff: I thought it was named for the comfy shoe?
Lon MacDowell: Nope. Anyway, there is a complimentary machete in every room.
Erica: I'm gonna be sick.
Geoff: Come on, Erica. It's... It's rustic and cute and damp and something just dripped in my mouth!
Erica: [gags] No, I'm literally gonna be sick.
Geoff: Oh, I told her not to have the shrimp cocktail on that discount airline!

Barry: Don't listen to them. We party. Hardy.
John Calabasas: Well, I believe that you believe that. So, gentlemen, strap yourselves in for the spring break of a lifetime. I'm talking about sun and fun and buns.
Barry: We're in! Whether you mean bread or girls' butts.
Andy: You could make a good night out of both.
Naked Rob: We respect women.

John Calabasas: Guys. Check this out. For the price of a hundred‐gallon cup of coffee, you can be frolicking on the white sandy beaches of Camaica. Actual sand color may vary.
Naked Rob: Camaica? Don't you mean Jamaica?
John Calabasas: Do I?
Barry: Do you?
John Calabasas: I don't! I'm talking about sunny Camaica. It's 70 miles east, and it's where Jamaica dumps its trash.
Barry: That description sounds terrible, but these pictures let me know the opposite is true.

Andy: I guess with the stress of college, I could use a real vacation.
John Calabasas: Well, it sounds like you odd, anxious gents could use some free promotional watches. Check it.
Barry: It doesn't even have numbers.
Naked Rob: And there's no hands.
Andy: It just says "Who cares?"
John Calabasas: That's right. Because when you're in Camaica, [Jamaican accent] you're on island time, mon. Nowhere to be but right here, right now, mon. [normal voice] That's not racist, is it?
Andy: Eh...
John Calabasas: And "paradise" is a word that means different things to different people, much like the words "liar" or "pregnant."

Barry: Geoff, pack your bags! We're going on spring break.
Geoff: I'm in. Eh, just one sec. Erica, do you want me to pack for you?
Erica: Geoff, I'm a grown woman. And keep that in mind when you're choosing my beachwear.

Barry: No way! This isn't a couples' trip. This is spring break. The most no‐strings‐attached, Erica‐free travel week of them all.
John Calabasas: Yeah. Bringing your girlfriend to spring break is like bringing sand to the beach. Which I might recommend because the shoreline of Camaica is covered in dead whales.
Ren: Dude, I wanna spring break, too. I've got a bikini and $40 to bribe foreign cops with.
Barry: Damn it! Now Erica's hot friend with no moral compass is coming. Spring break is ruined.
Erica: So, Ren and I will split a room and you guys can all bunk together, so you can still have your boys' trip
and we can work on our tans.
Barry: Me and the guys I already live with hanging out somewhere else? Yes!
John Calabasas: That "yes" is non‐refundable. Okay. White people dance! [steel drums play]

Beverly: Hey, random topic switch... um, isn't your meeting with your guidance counselor coming up?
Adam: Yeah. Tomorrow.
Beverly: Great. Why don't you show this to him and see what he says?
Adam: I will. Thanks for being so supportive and understanding. [walks away]
Beverly: Of course, my perfect angel who can do no wrong.

Mr. Perott: You know what? There's a Led Zeppelin song that applies to this moment.
Adam: Oh. Are you gonna play it?
Mr. Perott: Uh, no. I never learned it. I probably shouldn't have brought it up. But hey, that's a lesson in itself, too, right?
Adam: Y‐Y‐Yes?

Barry: Alright, enough local color. Let's hit the pool.
Andy: No way, man. I've been on a schedule all semester. I'm on island time now.
Naked Rob: And according to my timepiece, it's relax o'clock.
Barry: Fine! I'll swim alone then.
Lon MacDowell: Well, don't open your eyes or swallow. We over‐chlorinate on account of all the water lice.
Barry: I'm starting to think this hastily planned discount vacation to a trash island is not gonna be the spring break of my dreams.