Adult Adam: [v.o.] It was time for Silly Larry to do his thing.
Adam: It's hard for me to say, Dave Kim, but this is the best movie I've ever been a part of.
Dave Kim: It means a lot to hear that. Especially the part where you admit it's hard for you to say.
Adam: If I have one criticism...
Dave Kim: I would love to hear it. Super busy.
Adam: I just wish it was longer.
Dave Kim: Okay.
Adam: Everything you think of is so good. Why stop writing? More jokes, more story, more pages, more...
Dave Kim: Dave Kim.
Adam: Exactly.
Dave Kim: To my room trailer! I need to create.
Adam: Go! Do what only you can do!

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Just like that, I used the ultimate weapon to destroy Dave Kim... Dave Kim.
Adam: Hilarious! If I weren't too busy typing, I'd be laughing. [time lapse] I just hope there's more. [keyboard clacking]
Dave Kim: Yes, more! Much more! All the precious words! [time lapse] I'm envisioning a comedic nightmare where Silly Larry's butt grows to the size of a beach ball.
Adam: You'll need a special pair of pants. I'll go get my mom's sewing machine. [time lapse] [sewing machine whirrs]
Barry: Ugh. Dave Kim. This is a terrible dream.
Adam: Shh! Let the genius work.
Dave Kim: Perfect! I'm perfect!

Adult Adam: [v.o.] With my trap set, the rest was easy.
Dave Kim: Ahh!
Adam: Relax, buddy. [raises mask] It's me. Did you sleep at all?
Dave Kim: Not really.
Adam: You should rest. I'll fill in while you gather your strength.
Dave Kim: But my movie...
Adam: It'll be fine. I have your shot list, your mediocre script...
Dave Kim: Mediocre?
Adam: I said meteoric. You're hearing things, you poor fellow. [lowers mask] Silly Larry will take it from here.

Mr. Glascott: [on the phone] They're worms and minnows, Gerald. They can survive for one night without you. [dial tone] Cousin Gerald's out.
Barry: Oh, damn it! We're running out of time!
Mr. Glascott: You know, now that my kin is out of the picture, I'm rethinking this.
Barry: Then there's no other choice. You must seduce my mother away from him.
Mr. Glascott: No, thank you!
Barry: Take off that sweater vest and let me comb out your mustache. We gotta raise your appeal, man.
Mr. Glascott: No! Get off of me! And why am I conspiring with my friend's son?
Barry: Because we both want the same thing... for my mother to grow old alone.
Mr. Glascott: No! And Mr. Perott's a good guy. He keeps his cubby clean in the lounge at school, and he's the only person I've ever met that actually likes your mom's sweaters.
Barry: Well, if it's her sweaters he likes, it's her sweaters he'll never see.
Mr. Glascott: Exactly. [chuckles] Wait. What nonsense!
Barry: She can't go on a date if she has nothing to wear. This relationship will be over before it's even started.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] So, with one last desperate attempt, Barry hid my mom's sweaters, then packed her pants, ditched her dresses, and stashed her shoes. Just when he thought he'd won, Erica had once again beat him to the punch.
Barry: Aw, man!
Beverly: Are you sure this is okay? I feel silly in your dress. It's so... plain.
Erica: Faculty advisors always dress up for outside-the-school meetings. It's in the school charter.
Beverly: Quakers... they're so peaceful and weird. Barry, Erica told me you took all my clothes to the cleaners. Ah, such a good boy.
Erica: Yeah, such a good boy. [chuckles] [softly] But I'm the better boy.

Adam: You're more than flawed. You're petty and mean!
Dave Kim: Oh, you're one to talk!
Adam: Casting me as your jealous rival?
Dave Kim: Refusing to admit I can write, too?
Adam: Making Brea your "wife"? I know what that's about!
Dave Kim: Don't be ridiculous! Unless, of course, some long-repressed feelings are emerging.
Brea: I really have to stop coming back home.
Geoff: What scene is this?
Adam: Now I know I definitely don't want to live with you next year.
Dave Kim: Live together? I don't even want to be your friend!
Adam: Fine by me! [storms off]
Geoff: Could I borrow that script? [throws script to Geoff]

Adult Adam: [v.o.] The big date was underway, and despite my mom's confusion, or rather because of it, things were going pretty well.
Beverly: So, what do you think of the background for this dedication page?
Mr. Perott: A collage of your kids?
Beverly: They really do represent all the children of the world, don't you think?
Mr. Perott: I do.

Mr. Perott: More wine?
Beverly: I love how creatively in sync we are.
Mr. Perott: You know, I always thought we, uh, had our own sort of connection.
Beverly: You know, I didn't think this place was gonna work with the small table, the poor lighting, and the roaming violinist, but we are getting so much work done.
Mr. Perott: We make a good team. [chuckles] One could even say, we make a good couple.
Beverly: [chuckles] Well, that's a funny place to rest your hand. [chuckles] Were you reaching for the rolls and got tired?
Mr. Perott: No. No, I wasn't.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] In that moment, my mom finally put the pieces together.
Beverly: My tummy just got hot.
Adult Adam: The romantic bistro. The tender music. The flirty banter.
Mr. Perott: [flashback:] We'll have the "lovers' special." [echoing] Lovers' special. Lovers' special. [present:] Beverly, you are gorgeous.
Beverly: [gasps softly] Oh, no! I am gorgeous!
Mr. Perott: Beverly, are you okay?
Beverly: Joe, are we... on a date?
Mr. Perott: You didn't know?

Barry: Unhand her!
Erica: No, hand her!
Barry: I told you, she's not ready for this! I don't want to see her get hurt!
Erica: And I don't want to see her alone!
Barry: She's not alone. She has us.
Erica: She needs way more than us.
Beverly: Enough! Stop fighting about your mother's romantic inclinations!
Barry: Oh, no! Don't say it that way. Gross.
Beverly: Kids, sit down. [both sigh] The fact is, I am not ready to start dating. In fact, until this moment, I hadn't even thought about it.
Barry: Good.
Beverly: But now that we are talking about it, I guess I will be ready someday. Okay?
Barry: Okay.
Beverly: And when I am, everything's gonna be fine because I have the most wonderful Schmoos looking after me.
Barry: You got that right.
Erica: We really are pretty great.

Barry: [to Mr. Perott] You can leave now.
Beverly: Barry.
Barry: You've been rejected.
Beverly: Barry! Joe, I'm so flattered and so sorry.
Mr. Perott: Ah, don't be. I get it. Maybe some other time. [stands up and walks away]
Barry: I'm just gonna make sure he actually leaves.