Adult Adam: [v.o.] Back in the '80s, the Oscars crowned the best dramatic films of the time. Nothing could beat a heart-wrenching story, masterful direction, or a powerful performance. My family, however, didn't think so.
Barry: Places in the Heart. Who cares about a lady saving a farm? Sally Field needs to stick to being the Bandit's main squeeze.
Geoff: The Bandit was clearly a criminal. Smokey's the star, in my book.
Erica: And that's why he's the fun husband.

Adam: Splash should've swept everything. It taught the important lesson that fish can talk and love!

Beverly: What I want to know is, where are all the great mother-son movies? And mother-daughter movies.
Erica: No need to include me in whatever cuckoo bananas you're about to share.
Beverly: A mom and her Schmoo rescue an ark from the nazis. She and her squish go top-gunning. A mama and her three poopies hunt down a killer shark. These movies write themselves.
Adam: Because no one else is going to.