Donna: No, Eric, I meant maybe there's something, you know, we could do... together.
Eric: [snorts] I doubt it.
Kelso: Oh! That is a burn.
Donna: Wait. What?
Eric: No, I- No, I didn't- I didn't mean it like that.
Jackie: Nope, sorry, Eric, that was a burn. And what's burnt is burnt. And what's burnt is Donna.

Jackie: Wow. Donna, you look great. What could it be? [gasps] Oh, I know. You lost 80 pounds of ugly fat. [laughs] Burn, Eric, burn!
Eric: Okay, first of all I weigh a 130- 49 pounds.
Fez: Yeah. You look good too, Eric. You lost your one true love, so... Looking good.

Kelso: Man, I guess my movie career is getting started sooner than I thought.
Eric: Kelso's playing the stock boy?
Hyde: This is my favorite thing ever.
Kitty: Well, Michael does have marvelous bone structure. [laughs] Oh, but you will too, honey, once you fill out.
Kelso: Oh, man. [chuckles] Mom burn!
Hyde: Yep. That's twice the normal burn.

Kelso: Ladies. Ladies' bodies.
Jackie: You know, I wish someone would rub lotion on my shoulders. Think they're getting a little red.
Hyde: Yeah, you should be careful. Looks like you're starting to scab.
Kelso: Oh, that's a burn about a burn. That's a second-degree burn!

Eric: Hey, Hyde, where's table seven's fish?
Kelso: Oh, I got that for you, Eric. Here is your filet of sole. [reveals a shoe on a plate] Burn!

Angie: Hey, Eric, can I have some of your fries?
Eric: Sure.
Angie: Well, I don't want any. Burn! [laughs]
Hyde: I think you're confusing a burn with just talking.
Kelso: Eric, can I have some fries?
Eric: Yeah, help yourself.
[Kelso leans over and digs his face into the tray of fries]
Kelso: [mouth full] Burn!
Eric: Yeah, I knew you were gonna do that, so I spit in them. Burn! Totally.
Angie: Hey, hey, hey, hey. You ate his spit. Burn!
Kelso: That- That's a piggyback burn. We don't do that.

Kelso: Hey, Fez, you know what was awesome? That time you rode that tree.
Angie: How did he ride a tree?
Hyde: Oh, he climbed it, Kelso cut it down.
Angie: You guys have a million stories. And you know each other so well. It's like you have your own language. I don't even understand half the things you say.
Kelso: If you understand anything that Fez says, you're the only one. Burn!
Fez: Oh, Kelso can't understand me? Now I know how it feels to be a book. Oh, burn!

Kelso: [plays guitar and sings] I didn't mean to cheat But she forced me She Downright Coerced Me [talks] Hey, that's kinda good.
Eric: Man, I just asked her for a root beer.
Fez: You tried to control her, Eric. And the woman always controls the man.
Kelso: That's true.
Eric: Donna does not control me!
Fez: Oh, Eric, you have so much to learn, my friend.
Kelso: Yeah. I wish Jackie was still controlling me. I love being on a short leash. [plays guitar and sings] Put the short leash Back on me
Eric: Kelso, let me see that for a second. [smashes guitar]
Kelso: Yeah. You know, that's kinda funny. That was your guitar. Burn! [laughs]

Hyde: Okay, Forman, look, man, I'm not telling you how to live your life, but if someone touched my mom's panties...
Eric: Hyde, didn't everyone touch your mom's panties?
Kelso: Burn! [laughs] Man, that was a burn.

Kelso: Hey, didn't you go out with that girl?
Hyde: I don't think so.
Kelso: Yeah. That's the girl that dogged you on that blind date.
Hyde: Kelso, who cares? Hey, let's see what loser she ended up with.
Kelso: Yeah.
[Hyde opens the car door to find Fez inside]
Fez: Hello.
Kelso: Burn! Hey man, that's a burn.