Kelso Quote #173

Quote from Kelso in Kelso's Serenade

Kelso: [plays guitar and sings] I didn't mean to cheat But she forced me She Downright Coerced Me [talks] Hey, that's kinda good.
Eric: Man, I just asked her for a root beer.
Fez: You tried to control her, Eric. And the woman always controls the man.
Kelso: That's true.
Eric: Donna does not control me!
Fez: Oh, Eric, you have so much to learn, my friend.
Kelso: Yeah. I wish Jackie was still controlling me. I love being on a short leash. [plays guitar and sings] Put the short leash Back on me
Eric: Kelso, let me see that for a second. [smashes guitar]
Kelso: Yeah. You know, that's kinda funny. That was your guitar. Burn! [laughs]

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Features in the collection: Kelso: Burn!.

‘Kelso: Burn!’

Quote from Red in The Battle of Evermore

Red: So, I guess this is the way an immature, engaged, high school dumbass with no car, no job and no money trims the hedges.
Hyde: That was like eight burns in one sentence.
Donna: An octo-burn. Let's get the hell out of here.

Quote from Kelso in What is and What Should Never Be

Fez: Ah, we've been here for, like, an hour. We've only moved, like, two feet.
Kelso: You think the lines at the D.M.V. are long? You should see the free clinic. Now, there's a wait.
Hyde: Man, you've been to the free clinic?
Kelso: No. Oh, but I did see your mom there. Burn! [Hyde punches Kelso's arm] [chuckles] That's gonna leave a mark. Just like your mom did! [laughs]

 ‘Kelso's Serenade’ Quotes

Quote from Fez

Fez: Yes, please, Kelso, stop. I cannot take this anymore. This is how you serenade a woman. [sings] Besame Besame mucho Como si fuera esta noche La ultima vez
Jackie: What are you doing?
Kelso: Yeah. What are you doing?
Fez: Um, this is my school song from back home. I don't love you.

Quote from Red

Red: Here's the thing. You're assuming that you're good enough for Donna. And you're not. [Fez shakes his head]
Eric: Yes, I am.
Red: No, you're not. Just like I'm not good enough for your mother.
Eric: Okay, well... Yeah, that's true.
Red: Hey, watch it. I'm trying to help you out here.
Eric: I'm sorry. Yes, sir.
Red: Look, do you really think I wanted to spend the whole damn day sitting in a room with a woman who hates the Bucks and smells like cabbage? Well, I didn't. But that's the price you pay, son. Now, you go call Donna before she realizes how much better off she is without you. Go on now. Go!

Quote from Donna

Donna: Hey.
Eric: Hey, baby. What say you grab Papa a root beer, huh?
Fez: Oh, my God. I cannot look.
Donna: Listen, you worm, I am not your slave or a waitress or your damn maid! And don't get all Archie Bunker-y on me, or I will kick your ass to the moon!