Jackie: Okay. You guys, I just got an advance copy of the yearbook, and you'll all be happy to know that 1977 is my cutest year ever.
Eric: Jackie, that is so weird, because I was just telling the gang how there's no way you could be cuter than last year.
Jackie: You were?
Eric: Yes.
Kelso: I, for one, totally believe that you are cuter this year.
Jackie: Yeah, since I dumped you.
Donna: Nice burn.
Kelso: Donna, we've talked about that.

Donna: Hey, what's up?
Hyde: Forman wants to nail his cousin.
Eric: No. No, no, no, she's not my cousin. She was adopted. And what the hell happened to your face?
Donna: What the hell happened to yours?
Jackie: Burn!
Eric: Yeah, I gotta admit, Donna, that was a nice burn. And I don't mean what you said just there. I mean your face. Nice burn.
Donna: Hey, you know, if you ever need a date for prom, you can just flip through the family album.
Eric: Oh, God. You're just jealous because Penny is incredibly hot and you're a throbbing red pile.
Donna: Eric, my sunburn will fade, but your shame will last forever.
Eric: Yeah, well, at least my shame won't peel. [laughs]

Eric: Where's your ring?
Donna: Oh, I put it on a chain so I could wear it around my neck.
Kelso: Burn! Oh, super burn. The wedding's off!
Eric & Donna: Kelso, shut up!
Jackie: Yeah, Michael, you don't know anything about anything.
Kelso: I do too!

Donna: Anyway, Mrs. Forman, we have a bunch of decorating magazines at home. I'll bring 'em over.
Kitty: Well, thank you, Donna. And I think that ring looked nice around your neck.
Eric: Donna, what the hell? What, we're not going out anymore so you don't like my basement?
Donna: Well, I guess now that I'm an ex-girlfriend I'm free to tell the truth. Free at last! Free at last! Whoo! [exits]
Jackie: Michael, get Eric some ice.
Kelso: Why?
Jackie: For that wicked burn! Burn, Eric! Burn!

Kelso: Oh, hey. Jackie, I saw your show. It isn't as good as a lot of other shows.
Donna: No. It was great for people who think regular TV is too entertaining.
Jackie: I freaked out. I mean, the cameras turned on, and I realized I'm completely alone. I'm alone on TV, and I'm alone in real life. I don't know what I'm gonna do.
[As Jackie lays her head on Donna's shoulder, Angie cuts a strand of Jackie's hair]
Angie: Burn!
Jackie: [screams] Oh, my God! [runs out]
Kelso: Uh, I forgot to tell you the part about you don't burn someone who's already crying.

Jackie: Hi, I'm Jackie Burkhart, and here's all the news you need to know. This just in. Slacks are out. So, ladies, shave those legs and put on a skirt. Up next, senior correspondent Michael Kelso joins me for a very exciting segment I like to call Slut or Not. Michael, welcome.
Kelso: Hi, Jackie. Ladies.
Jackie: Okay, let's get started. Marcy Cavanaugh.
Kelso: Slut.
Jackie: Susie Rice.
Kelso: Slut.
Angie: [to Donna] Mmm. Hey, could you zoom out a sec?
Jackie: Ooh, Jenny Keene.
Hyde: Partly slutty with a chance of severe sluttiness.
[Angie runs on set and pulls down Kelso's pants]
Kelso: Angie, what the hell?
Angie: Burn?
Kelso: Burn! [hugs Angela]
Jackie: Well, there you have it, America, your first televised burn. Up next, a hard-hitting segment called Girls With Mustaches. Don't touch that dial, Sherry Papadakis.