Jackie: So, how was it?
Donna: Jackie, I don't really want to talk about it.
Jackie: Oh... That bad, huh?
Donna: No! No, no. It was great. It just wasn't what I expected. I don't think we did it right.
Jackie: So Eric's not good?
Donna: It was more like... Like neither of us was good.
Jackie: Donna, it's not up to the woman to be good.
Donna: I don't know, Jackie. I mean, I love Eric, but when the moment came, it was just, like... Awkward and weird... and... I don't know. I just felt so far away, you know?
Jackie: No. But go on.
Donna: I mean, during it, I just remember thinking, "This is it. This is what everyone..."
Jackie: Everyone what?
Donna: That's as far as I got.
Jackie: Oh. See, that's the problem.
Donna: That's not the problem.
Jackie: Oh, trust me. That's a problem.

Eric: Okay, Donna... Here's the deal. Do you have any Rolaids? I've been thinking about what we said, about us not doing it again? And, uh, I've decided that's just crazy talk.
Donna: But, Eric, we did it, and now everything's a mess.
Eric: See, Donna... Everything you and I do is a mess... At first. I mean, face it. We're just a couple of goons here. The first time we kissed, the first time we went out.
Donna: The first time I let you get to second.
Eric: Exactly. Wait. What did I do wrong then?
Donna: God, it was like you were tuning a radio.
Eric: Okay. Okay, but, do I still do that?
Donna: No.
Eric: And the kissing, has that gotten better?
Donna: Yeah, like, a zillion times better.

Red: What were you thinking?
Donna: Mr. Forman, uh, it was my idea too. So um, please stop yelling at Eric? Because...
Red: What?!
Eric: Just play dead and cover your face.
Donna: No, Eric, it's okay. [clears throat] What we did was a choice that we made. A choice we made as adults.
Red: Oh, really? You're an adult?
Eric: Don't answer! It's a trap.
Donna: Yes. We're adults.
Red: Okay, Donna, then as an adult I expect you to go next door and tell Bob and Midge just exactly what happened tonight.
Donna: Okay. I'll tell them.
Red: Good. And I'm gonna check to see that you did.
Donna: Oh, come on! Why would you do that?!
Red: Donna, I won't keep something like this from your parents. They think we're friends.

Bob: Something on your mind?
Donna: Yeah. There is something important I want to tell you guys. Eric and I have been going out for a while now and we did something you two should know about.
Bob: Yes?
Donna: Well see, Eric and I, uh... We um... We rode the Forman's motorcycle. There, I said it. The weight is just off my shoulders.
Bob: Donna, that was wrong. But not a wrong as it could have been, cause it could have been...
Midge: Sex! That's what I thought too!
Donna: What?! No, that's crazy. That's- That's silly. You guys are silly gooses! You make me laugh, cause you're silly!

Donna: Did you ever stop to think that maybe my dad's barbecue is really important to him?
Eric: Uh, no. Because it's just a stupid barbecue.
Donna: It's not stupid. I'm so sick of your dad. He's such a jerk.
Eric: Whoa. My dad's a jerk? Well, Donna, your dad's a jerk, and he's just copying my dad. And your dad didn't even fight in the war. You're just a National Guard kid. Yeah, I said it. What? What?
Donna: Oh, yeah? Well, you and Red are going down. And you know what else? I was wrong, Eric. Red's not a jerk. He's an ass, and you're an ass. 'Cause the ass doesn't fall far from the ass tree. "What did I say, what?"

Eric: Okay, you guys. Okay. Good one last night. You know, ditching us at the restaurant and everything.
Kelso: Yeah, we got you so bad.
Donna: You really did. We laughed and laughed. To show you guys we're such good sports, we made you guys a batch of special brownies.
Hyde: Special brownies. Like the special kind of special?
Donna: The best kind of special.

Donna: This place is awesome.
Eric: I know. There's gotta be, like, 17 pillows on this bed.
Donna: What's this? Oh, my God. It's a tiny fridge with, like, a million bottles of tiny liquor. [gasps] And tiny cookies.
Eric: Oh, yeah? Well, in there... tiny shampoo and tiny soap. Donna, I think elves work here.
Donna: I feel so classy. I'm stealing all of it.

Donna: Are you bored with our sex life?
Eric: Oh, God, no. Just the opposite. I figured that you had to be bored. And it was our hundredth time, and I just wanted to do something special.
Donna: Oh, my God, you count?
Eric: No.
Donna: Oh, my God, that's so sweet. But do me a favor. Next time you're gonna do something weird gimme a little more warning, so I can brace myself. Or tell you to back the hell off.
Eric: Right.
Donna: Because no matter how much I love you... that was unpleasant.

Kitty: Oh, Steven likes birthdays. He just doesn't know it. Which is why we're throwing him a surprise party. Now, I need two helpers with keen feminine sensibilities to help decorate. Jackie and Fez.
Fez: Yay.
Donna: What the hell? I'm feminine. I should kick her ass for that.

Jackie: Wow.
Fez: Yeah, this place looks great.
Kitty: Fez, Jackie, the decorations are beautiful.
Donna: No. No, no, no, no. They haven't been here all day. I did this because I'm feminine too. I'm a lady. Why can't anyone freaking see that?
Kitty: Oh, honey, no. It's perfect. Okay, the next time I need a feminine touch, I am using you and Fez.