Eric: Okay. Donna, wait.
Donna: What?
Eric: Well, first you drag me away from the wedding, and then you kiss me all the way over here, and then you pull me upstairs and shove me into my bedroom and put your hands all over my body. I just... I'm sorry. I'm confused.
Donna: Huh. If only there were a way to make my feelings clear with some sort of action. [turns lights off]
Eric: Yeah. Ha. Okay. [turns lights back on] That's, uh, ahem, ha-ha, extremely funny. But, uh, every, every time this starts happening, it winds up not happening. And then you skip home... Tra-la-la-la-la.
Donna: [laughs] I know. I know, and I'm sorry. It's just, you know, before now, I wasn't ready.
Eric: Yeah, and I understand that, Donna. It's just that... wait! Wait! Go back!
Donna: I wasn't ready before now.
Eric: Before now, like... Right now?
Donna: Eric, when I had to write those vows, I had to think about love. When I thought about love, I thought about you. I love you, Eric, and I want to be with you.
Eric: God, Donna, I... Love you. Are you... Sure, sure?
Donna: Yes, yes.

Donna: Dad, you know you shouldn't be threatening Eric. You should be, uh, thanking him.
Bob: What?!
Midge: Wow!
Donna: He's treated me like a queen since the day we started dating. Eric and I have sex. There, you know. At least I have a nice boyfriend and not some juvenile delinquent.
Midge: Like that Fonzie!
Eric: Well, that's nice.
Donna: And at least Eric had the guts to come over here and tell you man to man.
Midge: Well, I'm happy for you. And thank you for being honest. That took a lot of courage, didn't it Bob?
Bob: I'm going to bed! [exits]
Midge: [clears throat] So, how was it?
Donna: Oh, God!

Donna: All right. well, from now on, no more secrets.
Eric: Oh! God, then I guess I have to come clean. Okay. In first grade, behind your back, I used to call you "Donna Pinch-my-Butty."
Donna: Well, you know, Eric, that's okay. 'Cause I was the first one to call you "Eric Foreskin."
Eric: You started that?
Donna: Yeah.
Eric: That's not funny. That one stuck.
Donna: Oh, shut up, Foreskin.

Donna: Hey.
Eric: Hey, baby. What say you grab Papa a root beer, huh?
Fez: Oh, my God. I cannot look.
Donna: Listen, you worm, I am not your slave or a waitress or your damn maid! And don't get all Archie Bunker-y on me, or I will kick your ass to the moon!

Eric: Wait. So what are you saying? You're gonna hold out on me until I agree with you? Because that's not gonna work, Donna.
Donna: First of all, I'm not holding out on you. And second of all, if I did, it would so work.
Eric: Okay, well, you know what? I think that is what you're doing. So try this dress on for size! I'm cutting you off! Yeah!
Donna: Is that supposed to be a threat?
Eric: Supposed to be. Yeah.
Donna: Okay. If you wanna do this, we'll do this. But you're gonna cave, and I'm gonna laugh. Yeah!

Fez: Something's wrong. I don't feel special.
Jackie: Me neither.
Hyde: Yeah, I don't think those were special brownies, man.
Eric: Oh, no, no. They're special. Say, Donna, do you have any more of that special ingredient we used?
Donna: Well, I certainly do, Eric. Chocolate Super-Lax.
Kelso: You didn't.
Eric: We did.
Donna: We so did. Now maybe you'll think twice before screwing us.
Hyde: Well, nice try, 'cause I don't feel any- [Hyde, Jackie, Fez and Kelso groan]

Donna: Eric. Eric, my entire life, everywhere I've gone and everything I've done has been better because you were there with me and no test score is gonna change that.
Eric: Wow. That was amazing. Did you come up with that yourself?
Donna: Well, I saw Mr. Ingalls say it to Mary on Little House on the Prairie.
Eric: Hmm.
Donna: I just made it a test score instead of blindness. But I- I still think it's true.
Eric: So, you're still glad we're engaged?
Donna: Of course.
Eric: Good. Hey, speaking of Little House, did you ever see that one where Laura accidentally told Kelso, Hyde, Fez and Jackie that she was engaged to Donna?
Donna: Eric, are you kidding me? God. You can't even keep a secret?
Eric: Hey, Donna, I got an 800. We're lucky I can wash myself, okay?

Donna: By the way, thanks for the ride. [kisses Eric]
Eric: What was that for?
Donna: I just... wanted to see what it was like.
Eric: What was it like?
Donna: You were there.
Eric: Yeah, I wasn't ready for it.
Donna: What would you have done differently?
Eric: I don't know. Something with my lips?
Donna: Sounds good. Let's try that next time.
Eric: When exactly is next time?
Donna: [o.s.] Good night.
Eric: Yeah, I'm really gonna sleep after that.

Donna: I love your little butt, Eric.
Eric: Oh.
Donna: It's so little.
Eric: Okay. Um...
Donna: And you're so good, Eric. You're so darn good.
Eric: I think it's coffee time.
Donna: You're so good, it makes me hot.
Eric: Or time for another Iced Tea maybe.

Donna: So, Jackie, does the winner get a scholarship or something?
Kelso: Who cares? College is for ugly girls who can't get modeling contracts.
Donna: No, college is for women who don't want to marry the first idiot they meet and squeeze out his bastard moron children.