Stevie: I need you to help me... put together an outfit. 'Kay, I have a job interview this afternoon and I need to look professional.
David: So, does that mean you're officially leaving the motel?
Stevie: No. just, I don't know, I'm just, you know, trying to see what's out there. And Larry Air is hosting an open call for employment opportunities.
David: Okay, "Larrierre" sounds like a dollar-store perfume.
Stevie: It's an airline. Larry is the name of the CEO. He used to own a chain of delis, but then he sold them to buy a bunch of planes.
David: Hm.
Stevie: I get to travel, see the world.

Stevie: Mr. Rose, this looks pretty fancy. You sure you're okay to pay for it? I know you have the motel to worry about.
Johnny: Well, I can't back out now, Stevie.
Stevie: David would understand. I mean, not at first, but deep down he's not a total monster.

Stevie: What if we bought 30 more motels? Right now.
Johnny: What am I looking at?
Stevie: These are all the roadside motels currently for sale. Now, bottom line, we're not gonna make money off of two or three locations. We're only gonna start seeing the real money at 20 or 30 locations.
Roland: Yeah, I'm with Stevie, it's a lost cause.
Johnny: Now this would be a bigger undertaking. And if we franchised on a larger scale, yeah, the dividends would be greater. Stevie, where did you come up with this?
Stevie: Oh, it was in a book I was given. I don't know, maybe you read it. You did this before, Mr. Rose. I think you can do it again.

[Patrick holds up an "I'm with stupid ->" t-shirt. David holds up a t-shirt which reads "I'm stupid"]
David: Okay, Stevie, I told you I didn't want a jokey bachelor party. Also, my t-shirt is missing the "with".
Stevie: Oh, no, I had yours custom-made.

Stevie: Now, before I tell you what I have planned... for tonight's festivities, I think we can all agree that putting me in charge of your joint bachelor party was a big mistake, right?
Patrick: I'm sure it's gonna be great.
David: Absolutely.
Stevie: And the fact that you guys wanted it to be the "bachelor party of your dreams" only added extra, totally unnecessary pressure to the whole thing.
Patrick: 'Kay, Stevie, we never said that.
Stevie: Oh, no, you didn't. David sent me a seven-page e-mail with the subject line, "The Bachelor Party of My Dreams".

Johnny: 8:15. Roland still isn't here yet. You know if we're a half hour late for this pitch meeting we'll be laughed out of the room.
Stevie: Mr. Rose, you're stressing me out. And I just chugged a bottle of CBD oil.

Stevie: Can I ask you a question?
David: Yes.
Stevie: What is it about New York?
David: I have big dreams.
Stevie: And you can't have those dreams here?
David: And some friends left there.
Stevie: The "friends" who you invited to the wedding?
David: To name a few, yes.
Stevie: David, they're not coming. Apparently there was an electronic music festival in Norway that took priority. Why do you wanna go back to a place that's done nothing but hurt your feelings?
David: Because I want those people to know that I'm not a joke. And that I've won.
Stevie: David, look at this place. You've won. And on a personal note, I don't want you to leave me here, okay?

Stevie: I'm going to miss you, Mr. and Mrs. Rose.
Moira: Oh.
Johnny: Thank you, Stevie, that's awfully sweet.
Moira: Yes, just as sweet as the liqueur wafting off your breath.
Stevie: I also didn't go to bed last night.
Johnny: You take care of the place, Stevie. And, uh, if you get the chance, Room 7 needs a turn down.
Stevie: Okay.

Stevie: Well, can whichever half is feeling the most generous give me a discount on two cases of wine, please?
David: How many people does he think are showing up to this thing?
Stevie: Oh, he only wanted one case. I have my own holiday tradition. It's like the 12 Days of Christmas, but it's 1 day with 12 bottles of wine.
Patrick: That sounds like fun.

David: You're not having fun?
Patrick: I don't know, David, sure.
David: What exactly did I do wrong here?
Alexis: Oh, I don't know, David. Mmm, was it the time you kissed my boyfriend? Or was it the time you kissed my boyfriend?
Stevie: I think it was the time you kissed her boyfriend.