Reagan: Okay. Well, if I have to go down with the ship, I'm not going down without a fight. And those two are gonna need a lot more than hair gel and V-necks. They're gonna need motorcycle boots, scarves, knit caps, and all the eye makeup that Schmidt's got.

Reagan: Cece? Cece, come here.
Cece: What?
Reagan: Look around this room. Nobody's eating these things but them.
Jess: Oh, my God, yes! And they love them. It almost makes me want to try them. And I emphasize "almost."
Reagan: They're making a mistake. These are the guys that can sell this stuff. Not these guys.
Cece: But they've already decided on the direction of the ad.
Jess: So tell them to change it! I mean, what have you got to lose?

Reagan: Nick, I know that dumb publisher rejected your book. And, guess what, that publisher can go to hell. After you beat them to death with this baton that I weirdly still have. Because you don't need a publisher. You need a girlfriend who found a bookstore to sell Pepperwood.

Reagan: Sorry that took so long. I got stuck behind this, uh, lady at the craft store that was buying 700 individually-priced buttons. [to Jess] Oh, they said to say hi to you.
Jess: Hi.

Reagan: Is this the glue?
Jess: It comes from my private collection. It's very strong.
Reagan: You guys are so high.
Nick: How dare you.
Jess: How dare you.
Nick: I'm not high at all.
Reagan: You're high.

Reagan: Hi, Nick. What are you doing?
Nick: I'm just hanging out in here. I'm just taking a break. Just, just having a moment... yeah.
Reagan: Hey. No. You are, you are amazing. And you, you're, you're, uh, special boy. Like, uh, um... You know, you-- like, uh, you're, you are... very special, you know what I'm saying. Uh, and let me start over. [clears throat] Nick. I believe in you.

Jess: Reagan! Hi. How do you get off a plane and still look dewy as hell?
Reagan: Uh, I made a deal with the devil some time ago.

Reagan: Um, so Nick told me about what's been going on with you two.
Jess: Oh, he did? Listen, Reagan...
Reagan: No, you listen to me. The next time I find out that my man has been coming to you for cake... I'm gonna take you out... to dinner... to say thank you. [Jess chuckles] Because I hate baking. [both chuckle] Speaking of dinner, why wait? Why don't we do that tonight?

Nick: Ah, I'm not a talker. Talking's not my thing.
Reagan: Great. This is why we work. 'Cause we're not like Schmidt and Cece. We don't have to write each other a love poem every time I go into the other room.
Nick: Oh, pass.