Richard: I appreciate you taking the time out to meet me like this.
Lorelai: And I appreciate you actually showing up and not sending your secretary.
Richard: I assume you're wondering why I asked you here.
Lorelai: Not at all.
Richard: Well, I have something for you.
Lorelai: Is it a hat?
Richard: No.
Lorelai: Is it a purse?
Richard: No.
Lorelai: Horse?
Richard: Lorelai.
Lorelai: George Foreman Grill?

Emily: This is ridiculous.
Lorelai: Mom, relax.
Emily: He woke up this morning and suddenly just had to have this dish that his grandmother would make him.
Lorelai: Yeah, we all understand the cravings.
Richard: [o.s.] It's a family secret.
Emily: Well, last time I checked, I was family.
Rory: He's having fun, Grandma.
Emily: I saw an open can of cream of mushroom soup. Nothing good can come of that.

Lorelai: Mom, Dad, look, I know we've had our differences over where Rory should go to school, but that's behind us now. She's going to Yale, and that's good. Really good.
Rory: Nothing but smiles.
Lorelai: We're both very happy about it.
Rory: Both.
Lorelai: Her and me.
Rory: She and I.
Lorelai: Everybody in this room named Lorelai is over the moon about the "going to Yale".
Rory: Which means that everybody else in this room not named Lorelai can be equally over the moon about the "going to Yale".
Richard: I'm getting the champagne.
Emily: I'm calling the Talbotts.
Richard: Oh, make sure you gloat over that dimwitted son of theirs who couldn't even get into Brown.
Emily: She's going to Yale!
Richard: She's going to Yale! [Richard and Emily kisses Rory] When I get back, I'll teach you the fight song.

Michel: We forgot to call the Rappaports and they showed up.
Lorelai: Oh my God, what did you do?
Michel: Well, luckily they are not too bright so I convinced them they got their days mixed up and I sent them home.
Lorelai: You sent them home? You didn't even try to get them a room somewhere else?
Michel: You're welcome.

Michel: Okay. Look, I hate to bring this up, especially since... I mean, how do you top Renee Estevez? But we have a small number of rooms, yes?
Lorelai: Yes.
Michel: And the lobby's fine, and Sookie can make certain things at home – muffins, baked goods, jams, et cetera.
Lorelai: So?
Michel: So that's breakfast, and we have beds, and if we add some free wine and cheese around five in the afternoon...
Lorelai: Uh, no. We're not becoming a bed and breakfast. Who's next?
Michel: You're being stubborn.
Lorelai: Bed and breakfasts are cutesy and annoying.
Sookie: It forces people to mingle.
Lorelai: I do not support the mingling.
Michel: Adding a little gimmick will be an incentive for people to keep their reservations.
Tobin: You know what, I hate to say it, not being a B&B man myself, but Michel is making sense.
Michel: Get off my side immediately.

Rory: Luke is going to be very sorry he ever made this offer to you.
Lorelai: Hey, Luke has given me five free hours of handyman work for my birthday for the last five years.
Rory: And you have grossly exploited that gift every year for the past four years.
Lorelai: Well, I need to make up for that first year where I didn't milk it like I should've.
Rory: The spirit of giving is completely lost on you.
Lorelai: But the spirit of getting is alive and well and it wants its chimney swept. Ooh, put down laundry, too.
Rory: Fine, then can he also build me another bookshelf?
Lorelai: I've never been prouder of you than I am right at this moment.
Rory: And tell him to paint little flowers on it.
Lorelai: 'cause he's so good with the florals.

Rory: [answers phone] Hello?
Paris: I finished the paper on Dickinson, the Physics test was for a third grader, and I picked the history of the Egyptian political process as my International History project.
Rory: You've been very busy.
Paris: I've been very bored.
Rory: When are you coming back to school?
Paris: My parents return tomorrow. I think my mom's bringing home a new face.
Rory: Really?
Paris: There's a doctor in France who injects some kind of gel into your head and then molds it to give you better cheekbones.
Rory: You are kidding me.
Paris: She has to sleep on her back for a month, otherwise her face will flatten like a crepe.
Rory: Oh my God, it's Brazil.

Rory: Okay, so, Monday I thought we'd start with facials at Sloopy's after school.
Lorelai: Mudpack Monday, I love it.
Rory: Then we'll have double feature Tuesday, Sephora Wednesday, complimentary makeover Thursday, and then, big fat fabulous Friday.
Lorelai: D-day!
Rory: BD-day!
Lorelai: Culminating in the fabulous blowout of a party you're planning.
Rory: Oh, I'm sorry, you wanted a party? I told everyone you didn't wanna make a big deal out of your birthday this year.
Lorelai: You're not funny.
Rory: Miss Patty and Babette wanted to hire these two hot guys to carry you around all day and feed you Bon-Bons, and Kirk wanted to hire the Red Hot Chili Peppers to play a concert in the square, but I said, "Hey, please respect the lady's wishes. She deserves that at her age."

Fran Westin: So, that's a four foot chocolate cake with individual vanilla cupcakes on top spelling out “Happy 16th Birthday Lorelai”?
Rory: That's right.
Fran Westin: Would you like butter cream or whipped cream frosting on that?
Rory: Can you do both?
Fran Westin: That's a lot of frosting.
Rory: I know, but it's my mom's favorite part. Once we tried to make a cake entirely out of frosting, which turned out to be better in theory than in actual execution.
Fran Westin: Both frostings it is then.

Rory: So, how's the music selection coming?
Lane: Good. I've decided to choose one song from each year in Lorelai's life. I'm almost done, though I've hit a snag in 1974.
Rory: Bad year?
Lane: It's making the year of the Macarena look inspired.