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‘A Tale of Poes and Fire’ Quotes Page 1 of 6    

Gilmore Girls: A Tale of Poes and Fire

317. A Tale of Poes and Fire

Aired April 15, 2003

The Independence Inn plays host to the Edgar Allen Poe Society. Meanwhile, Rory tries to decide between prospective colleges.

Quote from Kirk

Kirk: Good morning, ladies. May I interest you in a shirt?
Lorelai: Oh, Kirk. You're not selling your laundry again, are ya?
Kirk: No, these are part of my latest money-making endeavor. I'm going to print daily T-shirts featuring a humorous topical headline of something I witness around town.
Rory: Neat.
Kirk: I got the idea when I read about something a man was doing in Portland.
Rory: What was he doing?
Kirk: He was printing daily T-shirts featuring a humorous topical headline of something he witnessed around town.


Quote from Paris

Rory: Okay, you've got to stop doing this.
Paris: What happened? Harvard was my destiny. I was flipping through Harvard class schedules when you were still delighting to The Adventures of Gumby and Pokie.
Rory: I was more of a Pee Wee Herman kind of gal.
Paris: It's partly my parents' fault, they didn't brand me properly. I should've been at the 92nd Street Y or Brick Church.
Rory: Prep schools?
Paris: Pre-schools. It decides everything. But I'm not totally blameless. I found a spot in my interview that I'm sure doomed me.
Rory: You recorded your Harvard interview?
Paris: The plan was to archive everything, then donate it to the university upon my demise. Little did I expect that my demise would come this early.

Quote from Miss Patty

Miss Patty: [answers phone] [refined accent] Hello, this is the Independence Inn emergency headquarters.
I'm Miss Patty, I'll be assisting you today. How may I help you? The printer will be here in half an hour, I'll let him know. Thank you. Goodbye. [hangs up] The printer will...
Michel: I heard, and you've got to shorten your greeting.
Miss Patty: What?
Michel: You do not need to recite the Gettysburg Address every time you answer the phone.
Miss Patty: I was Ricardo Montalban's receptionist for six months and he never complained.
Michel: Who?
Miss Patty: Don't make me hit you.

Quote from Michel

Lorelai: You all set up here?
Michel: Computer with Internet, phones forwarded here, printer on the way.
Miss Patty: I'm the receptionist.
Babette: And I'm learning the computer.
Michel: And I'm looking for my cyanide capsule. Have you seen it?

Quote from Lorelai

Lorelai: Oh, mime. That reminds me. Yale, best drama school bar none. Put that in the pro column.
Rory: I'm not taking drama.
Lorelai: No, but it means you'll have the best on-campus productions. You'll get to see the next Meryl Streep all goofy and eighteen and doing crap like, "Hey, name an occupation!" "Plumber!" "Name a farm tool now!" "Tractor!" "Hey, I'm a tractor doing... plumbing."
Rory: That's what the do at the Yale drama school?
Lorelai: So I've heard.

Quote from Kirk

Rory: Is that today's?
Kirk: Sure is.
Rory: "Babette ate oatmeal." Huh.
Lorelai: Yeah.
Kirk: I'm keeping it real.
Rory: It's good.
Lorelai: It paints a picture.
Rory: I can just see her... eating oatmeal.

Quote from Luke

Lorelai: No, Luke, that's not tiny. That's really good.
Luke: Yeah. I mean, there's probably hundreds of people working at that branch, and they singled him out.
Lorelai: Yeah, it shows he can work hard and get along with people and all that. You should be proud. Did you tell him you're proud?
Luke: Oh, he didn't even tell me about it. I got a letter addressed to the family of Jess Mariano inviting me down to some little ceremony they're having.
Lorelai: Are you going?
Luke: Oh, he'd hate it if I was there. You know, seeing him participating in some corporate ceremony like that, being called upstanding and responsible, it would kill him. Yeah, I'm going.
Lorelai: Good boy.

Quote from Michel

Lorelai: Oh, is this everyone from the Edgar Allen Poe Society?
Michel: If you mean the I-should-be-sterilized-so-that-my-disturbing-idiosyncrasies-aren't-passed onto-the-next-generation society, then yes, that's them.

Quote from Lorelai

Lorelai: Oh, that's weird.
Rory: What?
Lorelai: Over there.
Rory: A second Poe?
Lorelai: It's like a Poe story in itself.
Rory: The Case of the Two Poes.
Lorelai: The Messrs Poe and Poe.
Rory: Oh, that's good.

Quote from Miss Patty

Miss Patty: Hey, how many nevermores do you think he's got to go?
Lorelai: We're guessing four.
Miss Patty: Poor Edgar Allen Poe, he suffered so much. And now we gotta suffer along with him.

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