Monica: All right. Honey, my tests are down the hall. Are you sure you're gonna be okay?
Chandler: Yeah, I guess.
Monica: Look, I know this is embarrassing, but nobody cares. No one here even knows you.
Janice: Oh, my God!
Chandler: Oh, come on!

Rachel: I have an idea. Why don't we all pitch in 50 bucks, we'll pool our money together and then if we win, we'll split it.
Phoebe: That's a great idea.
Ross: No, thanks.
Phoebe: You don't want to win the lottery?
Ross: Sure I do. I also want to be king of my own country and find out what happened to Amelia Earhart.
Chandler: Still on Amelia Earhart?
Ross: The woman just vanished!

Phoebe: Look, Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me. But I'm actually feeling a lot better.
Monica: You are?
Phoebe: Yeah, I just kind of want to be alone right now.
Monica: Who's that?
Phoebe: I ordered Chinese food. [Monica opens the door to Mike] What are the chances?! One billion Chinese people, and they send Mike.

Monica: I'm sure that Rachel came home early and picked up Emma. You go look across the hall, and I'll call her cell.
Chandler: Okay.
Monica: Hey, you better hope we're pregnant because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Rachel.

[phone rings]
Mike: I'll get it! Hello? Ross's place. Mike speaking. It's for you.
Ross: I don't understand what just happened here.

Joey: Hey, open the door! What's going on? What are you-?
Monica: Hi.
Joey: Why are you dressed like that?
Monica: Because, well, Chandler's gonna be home in a couple of days so I thought I would just, you know, practice the art of seduction.
Joey: But I thought I heard a man's voice before.
Monica: No, I was just doing Chandler's side of the conversation. You know, like, "Hi, how do I look?" "Really sexy. Could I be any more turned on?"

Rachel: Thank you for watching the baby.
Ross: Oh, it's fine. Actually, I invited Mike over.
Rachel: Phoebe's Mike?
Ross: Yeah.
Rachel: I didn't know that you guys hung out.
Ross: We don't but thought it'd be nice to get to know him. Maybe have a little dinner, drinks, conversation.
Rachel: That's so cute. Ross and Mike's first date. Is that going to be awkward? What are you guys gonna talk about?
Ross: I don't know. But you know, we have a lot in common, you know? He plays piano. I played keyboards in college. He's been divorced. I have some experience in that area.

Rachel: Honey, I don't know how to tell you this but if something were to happen to Ross or myself you wouldn't get the baby.
Amy: Well, who would?
Ross: Well, we haven't officially asked them yet but we would want Monica and Chandler.
Chandler: I can't believe you'd want us to raise Emma.
Monica: Yeah. Oh, my God, I'm so moved.
Amy: I don't believe this. Hold on a second. You guys die and I don't get your baby?
Rachel: Amy, see, we're a lot closer to Monica and Chandler. We see them every day. And truthfully, honey, you don't seem connected to the baby.
Amy: Connected? I mean, to what? She's a lump.
Chandler: You know, guys, I've gotta say this means so much to me. I mean, that you would trust me with your child. I mean, we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own. You know, I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but- That you two- That you two-
Amy: This guy? Seriously?

Phoebe: Oh, great. So we can all go now. That is fun. Hey, you know what? We all haven't been together, the six of us, in such a long time.
Monica: What are you talking about? We're all together right now.
Rachel: Uh, Mon. Chandler's not here.
Monica: Oh, dear God.

Rachel: You know what, honey? Guys are just different. They like things that we can't understand. You know, I once dated this guy who wanted to pretend that he was an archaeologist, and I was this naughty cavewoman who he unfroze from a block of ice.
Monica: Ew. Are you talking about my brother?
Rachel: Yeah, I didn't disguise that very well, did I?