Frasier: Anyway, I handled things badly, both with Julia and with you, and I just hope that you can forgive me.
Daphne: Of course we will.
Martin: Oh, look on the bright side. You could have let her choke to death, but you didn't.

Frasier: Well, I guess we can stop shaking hands now.
Lizbeth: Oh well, I'm ready whenever you are.
Frasier: Well, then just let go.
Lizbeth: I did, you're holding on to me.
Frasier: What? Oh, dear. Dad, what kind of glue were you using on that pot?
Martin: Super.

Martin: You and Daphne?
Niles: Last night, Daphne and I engaged in sweet carnal delights.
Martin: Did you say "carnal" or "caramel"?

Martin: Boy, these are great. Now I can watch TV without bugging anybody. [singing] My bacon, is Farmer Frank's bacon! There's no mistakin', the quality...

Roz: Is that a new TV?
Martin: Yeah.
Roz: It looks great. Did you get it hooked up yet?
Martin: No, I decided I'd let Niles take a crack at it first! [Martin and Roz laugh]
Roz: Martin you're awful.

Frasier: Morning, Niles.
Niles: Hello, Frasier. Dad, Daphne. Uh, I can't stay, I just wanted to ask a favor. Dad, can I borrow your gun?
Martin: Maris taking singing lessons again?

Martin: Now, listen, I've done a few bowling banquets in my time. The thing to remember is keep smiling and look like you're having a good time.
Frasier: Right.
Martin: And if a joke bombs, don't pay any attention to it. Do what Johnny Carson used to do. Just make a joke about how bad it is. [impression] "Hmmm... Bomb-o! " I miss that guy!

Martin: Oh, hi there, Mrs. Langer.
Ms. Langer: Ms!
Martin: Oh, right, Ms... [the elevator doors close] ...erable old cow.

Martin: Well, Walt.
Walt: Marty.
Martin: Goodbye again.

Niles: Well, there certainly are a lot of us fighting.
Frasier: Dad, I wish there were more shots with you in it.
Martin: Oh, no, no, I liked being the cameraman. [over a shot of Hester's legs] I got to focus on the things I liked.