Frasier: Wait a minute! How did she even see Niles today?
Martin: I don't know, but she said she overheard him saying he loves her and that he wanted to tell her while he still has the chance.
Frasier: Oh, no.
Martin: What?
Frasier: I said that.
Martin: Oh, not you now!
Frasier: No, no, no, Dad. Not that. I was just doing a little exercise to try to help my back and I was talking out loud about how much I was going to miss Daphne. She must have overheard me and misunderstood.
Martin: Who were you talking to?
Frasier: ... If you must know, I was talking to Eddie.
Martin: Helps, doesn't it?
Frasier: Oh, stop it.

Niles: Why do you like pygmies so much?
Martin: They're short and they blow darts. What's not to like?

Frasier: Oh, hey, Dad, I didn't know you guys were here. Where's Ronee?
Martin: Oh, she's in bed waiting for me. Hey, Fras, you know what, she can't see a thing without her contacts. Why don't we play a little joke on her? You tiptoe in...
Frasier: No, Dad, I'll pass.

Frasier: [to Eddie] What are you staring at?
Martin: It's fourteen.
Frasier: What?
Martin: You're reading about Jack Russell terriers, right? That's how many years they live. Fourteen.

Martin: Let me tell you something: a city's like a woman. You get one mad at you, it doesn't matter if you're completely right and she's completely wrong, you'll apologize anyway, or you'll be paying for it for the rest of your life!
Daphne: I'm not sure I care for that analogy.
Martin: Oh, gee, I'm sorry, Daphne, I was way out of line.
Daphne: All right, you're forgiven.
[As Daphne goes to her bedroom, Martin gives Frasier a gloating "You see?" look]