Adult Chris: [v.o.] If Tasha were here to do her voice-over, she would admit that she's heartbroken.
Adult Tasha: [v.o.] No, I wouldn't. I wasn't heartbroken, I don't even remember this happening.
Tasha: So I'll see you later?
Chris: Um, yeah.
Tasha: Okay.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] While Tasha silently suffered in Brooklyn...
Adult Tasha: [v.o.] I wasn't suffering then and I'm not suffering now... I don't care.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Be quiet.

Greg: So who's the kid?
Chris: Cleavon Barris.
Greg: Where's he live?
Chris: Bed-Stuy, which is weird 'cause I thought I knew all the kids in the neighborhood.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] See? All Black people don't know each other.
Greg: That is weird. I thought all Black people knew each other.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] In 1984, Michael Jackson became the biggest star on Earth, but to my sister Tonya, he couldn't hold a candle to Billy Ocean.
Drew: What are you doing?
Tonya: I'm learning the steps from "Caribbean Queen."
Drew: There are no steps to "Caribbean Queen."
Tonya: Yes, there are. First he does like this, then he does like this, then he does like this, and then he does this, and he finishes off with this. He also does the moonwalk, but I don't know how to do that yet.
Drew: Billy Ocean doesn't moonwalk. That's Michael Jackson's move.
Tonya: Where do you think Michael got it from?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Peg Leg Bates.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] I wanted to do well on the PSAT, but my mother wanted me to do better.
Rochelle: Look at this, Chris. You could get a National Merit Scholarship. If you get enough answers right, you get money, like on Jeopardy.
Drew: Actually, on Jeopardy, you have to get the questions right.
Rochelle: Actually, nobody asked you.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] My mother had lost more stuff in her purse than the Bermuda Triangle. She lost little things.
[montage:]
Rochelle: There's my lipstick.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] She lost big things.
Rochelle: There's that skillet.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] She lost great big things.
Rochelle: There's that gallon of milk.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And things she didn't know how she lost.
Rochelle: [sighs] There's my purse.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] They might have found Biggie's killer if they looked inside my mother's purse.

Julius: Did you see this?
Rochelle: "Congratulations. You have won a free 27-inch color TV." What is this, a scam?
Julius: No, it's legit. I called. They said I just have to come down and pick it up.
Rochelle: What, did you buy a raffle ticket or something?
Julius: Not that I can remember. But I enter every contest I see.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He once entered a contest to win a free contest.

Mr. Abbott: What we're going to do is the word association test. I'm going to say a word and I want you to say the first thing that comes to mind.
Chris: Brain.
Mr. Abbott: Excuse me?
Chris: Brain. You said "mind" and I said "brain."
Mr. Abbott: Yeah, but we haven't even started yet.
Chris: Oh, sorry.