Minkus: I hate myself.
Shawn: You're not alone.

Shawn: Are you guys gonna keep talking? Because I can't hear myself kiss.

Shawn: I eat a lot of burgers.

Topanga: They seem right for each other.
Cory: I don't know. Shawn doesn't sweat much. I hope she's okay with that.

*Cory's lighting weights*
Shawn: Push! Push!
Cory: I can't!
Shawn: Oh come on you whimp. Now push! Sergio could. Nunzio could.
Cory: NUNZIO!
Shawn: That's one.

Shawn: He's been planning his funeral. I get to do the eulogy, you get to light the eternal flame.

Shawn: Suck up.
Minkus: Future plumber.

Shawn: I don't want to die before I know what woo is.

Shawn: Grow up, I wasn't stealing your father.
Alan: Good night, Shawn.
Shawn: Good night, dad!

Mr. Feeny: If Mr. Matthews stinks, you Mr. Hunter are as odoriferous as a dead man in July.
Shawn: A 12. How do you get a 12?
Mr. Feeny: I don't know. Have you ever opened a book?
Shawn: What?
Mr. Feeny: A book. Do you ever open a book?
Shawn: WHAT?