Eric: Hey, little bro. Life's tough, get a helmet.

Eric: Look at that. Shawn broke his date with Angela to be with three girls.
Jack: Wait a minute, he's handcuffed.
Eric: That little devil!

Eric: So I said to myself, Kyle -
Alan: Kyle?
Eric: That's what I call myself.

Eric: I'll do it. I'm the oldest.
Jack: Actually, I'm the oldest.
Eric: Yeah, but I've lived the longest.

Eric: As I turned the corner and walked down that road, it occurred to me. Either I was going the wrong way or that semi-truck was. But that's life. And it's all we have. Thank you.

Eric: I don't know what's going to happen to me. But I know I'm gonna be a good person who cares about people. And I blame you for that.

Mr. Feeny: Having served my country personally in the Navy-
Eric: England doesn't have a Navy, you liar!

Eric: This is who I am now, daddy. I'm a townie. I'm worse than a townie because I rely on my parents for economic support. I didn't even buy this cereal. You bought this cereal. You bought my clothes. You bought this cereal. You bought the milk, which was white when it started but is chocolate now because it's Coco Puffs and I've been sitting here for nine hours.

Cory: "Eric Matthews. Look at me. Look at me. A one woman show."
Eric: Oh, yeah, "man". See for me this would be "man".

Eric: First day of college and I got no place to live. I show up at the dorm and I say excuse me, ding ding, front please. Eric Matthews, I go here. Where's my towel, where's my room? They tell me I'm not on the list. Like there's a list!