Mr. Feeny: Gentlemen, do you ever go home and open a book?
Shawn: What?
Mr. Feeny: I want you to go home this afternoon and open a book. I don't care what you had otherwise planned. I order, nay I command you, go home and open a book!

Eric: Two passes to Sliding Rapids Mountain. Excellent.
Alan: Yep, you and your brother should have a blast.
Eric: Ah, no, no, no. See, when I look at this ticket I see someone in a skimpy wet bikini.
Alan: Well, that's entirely up to Cory.

Mr. Feeny: You know, I'd give up on them but I don't think they'd notice.
Shawn: What?

Mr. Feeny: If Mr. Matthews stinks, you Mr. Hunter are as odoriferous as a dead man in July.
Shawn: A 12. How do you get a 12?
Mr. Feeny: I don't know. Have you ever opened a book?
Shawn: What?
Mr. Feeny: A book. Do you ever open a book?
Shawn: WHAT?

Cory: Uh, Frankie, Joey, I realize it's none of my business why you're not beating us up, but why aren't you beating us up?
Shawn: Maybe they don't understand.
Cory: I'll translate. Why ain't you pounding us to a pulp?

Cory: I wish there was some way to do a book report without reading the book.
Shawn: They can put a man on the moon, but you still gotta read.