Bartender: Hey, these are from the ladies across the bar. They're primas.
George Sr.: Primos, huh? I've gotta be honest, I've seen better. Huh?
Gob: Eh.
Bartender: No, it means cousins. One hates her father, and the other hates her grandfather.
Narrator: It seemed the cervezas weren't the only thing being handed to the guys on a platter.
Gob: I don't know about you, but I'd prefer the thrill of the hunt, as opposed to-
George Sr.: Yeah, I think if we just wait, something a little better will come along. Thank you. Not trying to fall head over heels here.

Narrator: Where Michael's father currently had his own son in a panic.
George Sr.: No, I'm fine.
Michael: Yeah?
George Sr.: I'm fine. It's just, uh, I like, you know I just like the feeling of, uh [exhales] feeling something. It's just nice to have some control over one's life. But your mother is a wonderful person!
Michael: I've screamed the same thing many times I was worried she was in earshot.

Michael: Mmm. I know about the cottage.
George Sr.: I hated that rule.
Michael: Okay.
George Sr.: Michael?
Michael: Hmm.
George Sr.: I hated both rules.
Michael: Oh, yeah, the towels.
George Sr.: Can I ask you a question? How'd you get past the guard gate?
Michael: I came from the water.
George Sr.: I knew it. I told her. I told her, "He's gonna take us from the beach." Well, I am glad. I am glad you did. Yeah, it's just your mother and her rules. And I hated "no sand in the living room." [voice breaking] I mean, why have a beach house if every member of the family can't enjoy it?

Michael: You look like you're not enjoying anything. You all right?
George Sr.: Yeah. Your mom and I are [clears throat]... We're not together. We're not together in the well, I guess in, uh, every meaning of that word.
Michael: I assumed that, but, uh, why aren't you enjoying that?
George Sr.: Because your mom is being courted, Michael. Someone is fawning all over her.
Michael: I knew she had Buster.
George Sr.: No.
Michael: I knew it.
George Sr.: This one's not Buster. I mean, I wish that guy was Buster. Him I could fight, you know? You see, this guy got past me. How can your mother do this to me? I knew I should've sold that property when Stacy died.
Michael: Tracey.
George Sr.: No, we would've lost a fortune if we sold when Tracey died. No, Stacy was the paralegal I used to bring out there who went into insulin shock at the very height of the market. Sad. How can she do this to me?

Michael: [on the phone] I thought I'd give you a call, see how the drive north is going.
George Sr.: Oh, it's fine. I took Highway 5, so there's, you know, no view, but there's no traffic.
Michael: What's the bell?
George Sr.: Oh, there's this Salvation Army Santa Claus guy who's just going from car to car here.
Man: Ice cream?
George Sr.: Stop screaming and get off the highway! Oh, there's an Andersen's Pea Soup, so I think I'm gonna buy him soup.
Michael: That's George Michael. I gotta go. I hope that I'm half the father to him that you are to me.
George Sr.: You're embarrassing me. Thank you.
Michael: You should be.

George Sr.: Oh, my Viagra. See, and this used to work.
Michael: Since when is Viagra pink?
George Sr.: Your mom says that the Medicare only does the generic.
Michael: You know, this is estrogen.
George Sr.: Really?
Michael: How long you been taking that?
George Sr.: Uh, two years.
Michael: Two years. Isn't that about the time that Mom was in jail and started, uh...
George Sr.: Forwarding my mail.
Michael: Yeah. Why do you think she did that?
George Sr.: Maybe she figured that if she was gonna do hard time, I should do...
Michael: Soft time.

Narrator: And back at the cottage, Lucille was in for a surprise as well.
George Sr.: Lucille, my lady, my love. Do you remember our first date, at that little Italian restaurant? Do you remember what I said to you? "How did I ever find you?"
Accordion Player: [sings] How did I ever find you?
Lucille: You took me for Chinese. The Italian place was the first time I caught you with your secretary, and you asked, "How did you ever find me?"
Accordion Player: [sings] How did you ever find me?
George Sr.: That's it. All right. Get out. Go back to the Macaroni Grill. I, uh, also brought you some leftovers.

George Sr.: Look, here's the deal. [chuckles] I can't...
Lucille: Live without me.
George Sr.: ...get hard. It's really getting hard, uh, to live without you.

George Sr.: You see, this is the stuff.
Lucille: That makes life worth living?
George Sr.: I was actually gonna say that we should keep from the DA, but can you tell me why life is worth living again?
Lucille: See, that's just it. I'm trying to have some kind of a life.
George Sr.: With Dustin Radler, the beach rat. What's the deal? You in love with this guy?
Lucille: We're having fun, George. [chuckles] Because he's fun. He loves music, he plays me songs on the guitar.
George Sr.: You know, hey, I just brought the assistant manager of the Macaroni Grill over here during his lunch shift. It set me back a sawbuck. It's a third of what you are giving me to live off these days.

Lucille: Well, the Chinese want dinner with us.
George Sr.: They're in town?
Lucille: They want to go over plans for the wall.
George Sr.: [stammers] Wait. Did you tell them we don't have Lindsay? We lost the election. [Lucille shakes her head] We can't catch a break on this. I mean, it makes you not even want to do business with a hostile nation.