Maeby: Well, problem solved. Stick her with all of it. Let her buy it. She'll get all our liabilities, and then anything over two million, we get to keep.
George Michael: I can't do that to someone that I have feelings for.
Maeby: So stop having feelings for her.
George Michael: What? Is that something you can do with people?
Maeby: Yeah, once I learned how to do it with my parents, it was easy with everyone else. It's like a heart switch, you know? Click. I love you. Click. I love you not. Click. I love you. Click. I love you not. Can't you do that?
George Michael: No, but in my defense, I'm not a sociopath.
Maeby: [dramatic music plays] Click.

Gob: Why wouldn't he come out?
Tobias: Oh, who knows what makes a guy think he can pass for straight? I mean, if he really is gay, he can try to hide it, but trust me, it will come out in the most unexpected balls.
Gob: Yeah, but the problem is that now the world thinks that I'm gay, and if I say it was a trick, well, then the alliance will have me by the balls.
Tobias: Uh... [laughs] Excuse me, "balls"? You realize you just said "balls"? [chuckles]
Gob: But you said balls.
Tobias: [chuckling] Oh, well that's three times I'm hearing balls now.

Lucille: I'm busy, George. What do you want?
George Sr.: I want you, Lucille.
Lucille: In what way, George? Sexually?
George Sr.: Yes. Sexual-ish-ly.

George Sr.: We really need each other right now, because Buster is on the lam. His first prison break. I remember when he just started talking.
Lucille: He better not have started talking.
George Sr.: No, I meant originally. Like, when he was three.
Lucille: Five.
George Sr.: Five.
Lucille: He didn't say a word until we fired the wet nurse.
George Sr.: He didn't stop talking about that for three years.
Lucille: Until we caved.

George Sr.: If Oscar is with Buster, then where is Lucille 2? I mean, she could be dead, and Buster will be charged with murder. Or worse, she could come back, and they would charge us with embezzlement.

Narrator: And soon, Michael was going over the books in what Gob had turned into the conference room.
Michael: "Joni Beard, Media Consultant." 20K? What's that?
Gob: K means thousand. [chuckles] Can you believe Adhir just expected me to know that? [laughs] I must've told him K times, "You gotta help me with these things."
Adhir: I used to train dogs, so I'm very patient.
Michael: And $10,000 for a printer?
Gob: 10K.
Adhir: Good Gob. Good K.

George Sr.: You're trying to keep your distance from the company, and I appreciate that, but you are the co-president with Gob.
Michael: Well, hang on. President? When did I become president?
George Sr.: Well, I mean, Sudden Valley. I mean, that's yours. I mean, we're carrying that for you.
Michael: You forgave the debt.
George Sr.: We forgot the debt.

Michael: Dad, I think you might be giving up, uh, a little too easy. You know? I mean, Mom loves you. She's just mad at you. You cheated on her. Or Uncle Oscar did, I don't know. I lost the thread on that one.

Gob: And to be fair, it's a... It was a 3-D printer.
Michael: Why do we need a 3-D printer?
Gob: Well, to be fair, it's a 3-D dental printer. But they're worth twice what I got them to leave them here for. They must've been too slow for them, but I thought, what do we care if it takes two and a half hours to print some molars?
Michael: Can you just get me a copy of the receipt?
Gob: Hey, you want to spend a couple hundred bucks on a 3-D receipt, I'll have it printed and in your mouth before sunset.

Narrator: While waiting for Michael to return from prison with Buster, the Bluth family was recycling a welcome home party.
Lucille: Why do we have to have a party every time someone in this family is released from prison?
George Sr.: Tradition.
Lucille: Well, some traditions get old. [sighs] Like that god-awful thing you used to make me do on your birthday.
George Sr.: Cook?