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Let 'Em Eat Cake

‘Let 'Em Eat Cake’

Season 1, Episode 22 - Aired April 6, 2004

As Michael and George Sr. prepare for a polygraph test, Kitty attempts to blackmail the company with information she gleaned inside the company. Meanwhile, the entire family is on the Atkins diet.

Quote from Gob

Michael: Gob, shouldn't you be in bed?
Gob: Well, we got a meeting with Dad's attorney today. He's gonna want me to take a lie-detector test to use as evidence in Dad's trial, but, uh, I don't want to. What if they ask about a magic trick? I just I can't risk it.
Michael: They're not gonna ask you anything. They want me to take the polygraph test.
Gob: But I'm the oldest. The matriarch, if you will.
Michael: Sure. I will.


Quote from Gob

Gob: Zero hour, Michael. It's the end of the line. I'm the first born. Sick of playing second fiddle. Always third in line for everything. Tired of finishing fourth. Being the fifth wheel. There are six things I'm mad about and I'm taking over.
Michael: You want to be in charge?
Gob: Yeah.
Michael: You want to deal with what I deal with a sister who takes your money and throws it away; a mother who you can't trust; a company whose founder may be on trial for treason- Is that what you want?
Gob: What kind of vacation time does it offer?
Michael: Yeah.

Quote from Maeby

Michael: George Michael, our show's about to start.
Maeby: He went out on his date.
Michael: A date? But we had plans to- A date with who?
Maeby: Some girl. I mean, she barely has a face. You couldn't pick her out of a lineup of one.

Quote from Lucille

Michael: I saw an expose on the Iraq palaces last night and I could have sworn that one of them was the Sea Wind unit.
Lucille: That's funny. I always pictured Iraq in the middle of the desert.
Michael: Dad sold houses to the Iraqis, didn't he? And this is what you kept from me so I could take the polygraph test. Tell me the truth, okay? 'Cause there's been a lot of lying in this family.
Lucille: And a lot of love.
Michael: More lies.
Lucille: Look, I never knew about anything. But I had my suspicions. He never told me where he was going but he used to come back from those business trips reeking of lamb. And people would send figs, not even at Christmas, in the middle of October. Oh, and once, someone sent him a toe and he went white as a sheet. I think you're right, Michael.

Quote from Gob

Michael: What kind of job?
Lindsay: Beads.
Gob: Bees?
Lindsay: Beads.
Gob: Beads?!
Michael: Gob's not on board.
Lindsay: Beads are very big right now. Uh, anklets, necklaces, you name it.
Gob: Bracelets?
Lindsay: But I'll need some start-up money.
Gob: I'm in. But we're gonna need a lot. Beads aren't cheap. Are beads cheap?

Quote from George Sr.

Michael: You're building houses in Iraq? I mean, do you know how they punish treason?
George Sr.: First time.
Michael: I've never heard of a second.
George Sr.: Oh, I've got the worst [bleep] attorneys.

Quote from Michael

Michael: Hey, George Michael. They're gonna show that interview you did. We're gonna watch it on Thursday, okay? I'll make some popcorn.
George Michael: Popcorn? Really? Cool. Yeah, the hell with Atkins, huh?
Michael: Oh. Yeah. Oh, why blow it now? I'll fry up some bacon.

Quote from Gob

Michael: Listen, I have to do this to help out Dad, and you don't know anything about our business.
Lindsay: Gob, I'm not looking for a partner. And, believe me, if I was, it would not be you.
Gob: Oh. Good. Well, I'll start my own business. How hard can it be? B-z-z-z-z! Bz-z-z-z-z-z! We'll see who brings in more honey. [buzzing]
Michael: He's thinking about bees again.

Quote from Lindsay

Michael: I'm not just gonna cut you a check so you can throw it away on another failed business.
Lindsay: Hey, "Mommy, What Will I Look Like?" should have worked.
Narrator: Lindsay had once started a photo-enhancing service which gave new parents a glimpse at what their infants would look like in half a century.
Lindsay: Hey, you put an ugly kid in, you can't be surprised when an ugly adult comes out.

Quote from Gob

Narrator: And later, the family waited for Michael at the prison meeting room.
George Sr.: How do you make money from it?
Gob: I don't know. Honey? Or just as gifts.
Lucille: Who'd want a bee as a gift?

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