Janine: Yes, it's less sugar. It's better all around. It's a really easy low-lift win for our kids. So what do you guys think?
Gregory: Less sugar is compelling. I'm not really a big fan of juice. I prefer nature's juice... Water.

Ava: I'm telling y'all, it was like Bring It On but with Black people on both sides, so you know they ain't gonna never make that movie. [laughter]
Janine: Oh, hey, girl!
Ava: Hey! I was just telling them about when I was on 106 & Park. Me and Terrence J made our own top-10 list that night, if you know what I mean.
Janine: No, I hope they do not know what you mean.
Ava: You think they never seen 106 & Park?

Jacob: I, for one, love the program. I feel like a blend of Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society and, well, Robin Williams in Patch Adams.
Gregory: Didn't all those kids in Patch Adams die of cancer?
Jacob: Well, the real cancer is ignorance.
Gregory: Mm, the real cancer is cancer.

Gregory: [on the phone] Thank you, sir. Sounds like quite the opportunity. I'll deliberate on the objective and report back. Okay. Okay, bye. [hangs up]
Mr. Johnson: Boy, you in the FBI?
Gregory: What? No, I was just talking to my dad.
Mr. Johnson: That's the way you talk to your dad?
Gregory: Yes. Uh, he was asking me to come up to Baltimore to work at his landscaping company, but just for the summer.
Mr. Johnson: A likely story. Probably planning on how to assassinate another Black community leader. COINTELPRO killed Teena Marie.
Gregory: Teena Marie was white.
Mr. Johnson: To you.

Ava: Damn, genetics are wild. You're cool and she... [off Vanetta's look] You would beat my ass, wouldn't you?
Vanetta: Hmm.
[aside to camera:]
Ava: The key to never getting your ass beat? Knowing when someone can beat your ass.

Ava: Barbara, this came for you.
Barbara: I have to go to court?
Ava: Oh, wait. This is a cease-and-desist for me. Coleman Camping Supplies seems to think that they're the only Colemans that can sell camping supplies. I got lanterns, too.

Barbara: Ooh, what in the immaculate reception?!

Barbara: [laughs] Maybe I should do it. Oh. [British accent] 'Ello, dearie. Yes. You know, I'm interested in receiving some information about churnninggg Abbott charter. Yes. [normal voice] It's working. [Jamaican accent] Yeah, mon. I said go. You just want send me the information like that? Bye-bye.
Melissa: I'm not going to lie, Barb, that was pretty fricking good.
Ava: Barb, I had no idea you were this talented. You a damn genius.
Barbara: [Jamaican accent] We are going to need all the genius we can get, because the damn Legendary is coming for us. [normal voice] Legendary is coming for us.
Melissa: [clears throat] We got it.

Gregory: Our principal is otherwise engaged. But I'm happy to fill in for her. How can I help you?
[aside to camera:]
Gregory: I took a series of catastrophe modules in my principal training. I'm also prepared for tidal waves, Facebook crashing - that's for the older teachers - and a lice outbreak. For the white teachers.

Barbara: [aside to camera] As a good Christian woman, I would never mark my body with such an obscenity. I don't even believe in saying that word out loud. Ugh. My favorite "B" word? Barbara. Oh! Bible. [gasps] Blessing. Blueberries.