Tony: Hey, hey, hey. What's going on here?
Sophia: Taking a shower, huh? I suppose this is your loofah sponge.
Tony: What are you talking about?
Sophia: You toyed with my emotions. You toyed with my affection. And worst of all, you toyed with my sister.
Tony: That's not true, Sophia. Angela's just my roommate. You're the only woman in my life. There can be no-one else but you, dear.
Sophia: Oh, Tony. Oh, Angela. Oh, boy, who is that woman?
Tony: Oh, this woman. Oh, she's my cleaning lady.
Sophia: What?
Woman: You told me I was "the only woman in your life".

Dorothy: Ma, you're still mad at me, aren't you?
Sophia: Dorothy, you let greed cloud your judgment. Money blinded you. You turned your back on the people you love. You did a terrible, terrible thing. It's unforgivable.
Dorothy: Ma, isn't there anything I can do to make it up to you?
Sophia: Give me $100.
Dorothy: Make it 50.
Sophia: Done, I love you.

James: Look, I'm writing out a $5,000 deposit now.
Blanche: No, I can't do that. The banks are closed. I can't be sure it's any good.
Sophia: You've got an honest face. I'll cash that check right here.
Dorothy: Ma, can I see you in the kitchen?
Sophia: I've got no secrets from these people.
Dorothy: Shady Pines, Ma.
Sophia: Right behind you.

Dorothy: I still don't have a date for Jenny's wedding. My own goddaughter, and I'm gonna show up alone.
Sophia: How humiliating!
Dorothy: Ma, don't rub it in.
Sophia: I meant for me.

Sophia: I've been working for this Meals on Wheels program, and I need a driver. Please?
Dorothy: Oh, all right, Ma. I'll cancel Banjo Eyes.
Sophia: Don't worry. There'll be other dates, Gloria.
Dorothy: Ma, Gloria is my sister. I'm Dorothy.
Sophia: I know. There'll be other dates for Gloria.

Dorothy: Ma, why do you do this?
Sophia: I want you to be happy.
Dorothy: I am happy. Look, Ma, I know that you think there's something missing from my life, but there isn't. If the right person comes along, great, but I don't need a man to be happy.
Sophia: I didn't realize that about you. On Mrs. Contini's questionnaire, there's a box about that.

Dorothy: Ma, this is Nick Odlivak, the football coach.
Sophia: I never thought I'd say this, Dorothy, but I think you can do better.

Rose: Oh, Sophia, did we wake you again?
Sophia: No, I'm up because I'm feeling frisky. What say we get out the Ouija board-
Blanche: Oh, Sophia, you already said that.
Sophia: It's the middle of the night. You want something fresh, turn on Letterman.

Sophia: Pussycat, what are you doin' here?
Dorothy: Oh, I just missed you and wanted to say hi and see how you're doin'.
Sophia: I'm doin' fine. Ten days celibate.
Dorothy: Same here.

Dorothy: Oh, Ma, Ma, it looks great, doesn't it?
Sophia: Sure. Let's bust it up.
Dorothy: No, wait. Blanche and Rose haven't seen it.
Sophia: Dorothy, they have dates. They get to see the real moon.