Rose: Morning, Blanche. How was your date last night?
Blanche: Ha! How was my date last night? I woke up alone. That's how my date was last night. He didn't open my car door. He did not escort me into the restaurant, didn't pull out my chair, and then, when the check came, he made me pay half the bill! What did I ever do to deserve that?
Rose: Sounds to me like you put out before dinner again.

Rose: What about the good things, like Mother's Day? Oh, the Mother's Days we used to have on the farm. First of all, the kids would wake me up by brushing our cat, Mr. McTavish, against my ear. Then they'd give me breakfast in bed, Belgian waffles and buttermilk. And then they'd paint faces on their socks and do a little puppet show called "Elf Kingdom."
Dorothy: And then everybody would tickle each other until the whole family was throwing up together.

Rose: Want a cup of coffee?
Jean: Maybe I will have a coffee.
Rose: Oh, hood.
Jean: Rose, about last night. I should never have said anything.
Rose: Well, you only said what you were feeling.
Jean: Well, it's just that this last year has been so difficult for me. See, Pat was the person I planned to spend the rest of my life with. And when she died, I just felt so terribly alone. Empty. I thought I could never care for anyone again. Until I met you. I just got very confused. I hope I didn't make you feel uncomfortable.
Rose: Well, I have to admit, I don't understand these kinds of feelings. But if I did understand, if I were, you know, like you, I'd be very flattered and proud that you thought of me that way.
Jean: Thank you, Rose.
Rose: Well, I guess that's all I had to say. Except you don't have to go. Unless you think our friendship alone isn't enough.
Jean: It's enough.

Blanche: Listen, I'm not gonna do this.
Rose: Blanche, if you leave, they'll fire me.
Dorothy: Good. My mother is here. My teacher is here. Good.
Rose: If I lose my job, I won't be able to do anything but sit home and tell St. Olaf stories.
Blanche: Blackmail. Oh, very smart.
Rose: Hey, they don't call me Harold Goldstein for nothing.

Dorothy: You know, Rose, you didn't get to go to your high school reunion because you weren't feeling well. Maybe if you'd been to see a doctor, you could've gone.
Rose: You don't understand. I'm from St. Olaf. St. Olaf is farm country. We're rough and rugged. We never see doctors. Never. In fact, my great-grandfather once removed his neighbor's appendix and he wasn't even sick.
Dorothy: Why would he do that?
Rose: Let's just say they were playing poker and the stakes got a little high.

Dorothy: Come on, Rose. You just checked the door two minutes ago.
Rose: I thought I heard something. I should never have let them go shopping. It's too dangerous.
Dorothy: Oh, what are you talking about?
Rose: Just this morning, I read where 1400 people were injured in a food riot in Calcutta.

Rose: There are many women who live happy lives without men.
Blanche: Oh, who?
Rose: Well, Inga Lundqvist.
Blanche: Who was she, some Swedish lesbian?
Rose: She was a neighbor of ours.
Dorothy: Not, by chance, the one who shredded her husband with some farm machinery?
Rose: Yes, and she never remarried. And she led a very happy rest of her life baking, sewing, gardening, tending the animals.
Blanche: Ooh, my favorite things.

Rose: I'm going to get changed too. Bridget's going to take me to the House of Fabrics. They're having a big felt sale. I hope I just don't get too crazy.
Dorothy: Yeah, you'd better take a tranquilizer before you go. Remember, last time, you hyperventilated and almost passed out.
Rose: I never passed out at the House of Fabrics. I passed out at the World of Wool.

Dorothy: A nun has died. More than a nun. Sister Agnes was my mother's best friend. Oh, she's out there alone now. She hasn't said a word since we left the cemetery. I have no idea how she's going to react to this.
Sophia: I've made a decision. I'm gonna become a nun.
Blanche: Well, at least now you know.

Rose: [answering phone] Hello. Oh, Helgie. So what's going on in St. Olaf? I can't understand ya, honey. Are you moaning? No. Say it slowly. Oh, God, it's raining. Oh, God, it's raining. Oh, God... Oh, God, it's raining! Here, I've gotta get to Miles.
Blanche: [listening to phone] Boy, it must be pouring.