Rose: Hi, Blanche. Shouldn't you be lying down?
Blanche: Yes, but I'm tired of being on my back. Did I just say that?

Blanche: Oh, girls, look. Believe me. Nobody could be more upset about what happened last night than I am, but I was just trying to be hospitable, I swear. I sent the kids to the symphony to hear Henry Mancini's tribute to the Pink Panther. I didn't expect them to come back here and jump into bed. Besides, it's not the end of the world. These things do happen. Why, the same thing happened to me when I was in my early 20s. I was taking some classes at Miss McGyver's finishing school. And one night, Bobby Jo Springer had escorted me back to my dormitory after the annual Fine Manners ball, when an innocent good-night kiss developed into an evening of passion. But at 3am, the door flung open and there stood Miss McGyver, making one of those bed checks she was famous for. I tried to handle the whole thing like a lady. I waved politely over Bobby Jo's shoulder with my foot... but she was unmoved. Next day, she sat me down, gave me a stern lecture and kicked me out of school. Only, I didn't care. I knew what ecstasy was. All she could do was walk around with a dictionary on her head.

Sophia: What's all the commotion? Oh, boy.
Michael: Grandma, this isn't what it looks like.
Sophia: Please, I'm 80 years old. I may not remember what it feels like, but I sure as hell remember what it looks like.