Adult Adam: [v.o.] As Erica fumbled her way into a date, Barry was prepping Geoff for game-show success.
Barry: Winning The Dating Game is all about one thing. [Joanne giggles] ANUS.
Geoff: I thought there was nothing that could make me want to do this less, but there it is.
Barry: A is for "Alpha Status." You need to dominate the other contestants around you by saying things like, "Wow, Bachelor Number Two, have your eyes always been so far apart, or is your mother an elephant seal?"
Geoff: I thought it was light flirting and being affable, but I'll be awful, I guess.
Barry: Moving on to U and S, a.k.a. "Us."
Geoff: Wait. Us? What about the N?
Barry: N in this case stands for "nothing." I just really wanted to spell "Anus."

Adult Adam: [v.o.] My mom wasn't exactly thrilled with my dad's surprise purchase, but she was never one without a plan.
Bill Lewis: Wait a tick. I don't want any part of whatever this is.
Beverly: Can't a woman bring macadamia muffins to her husband's best friend anymore?
Bill Lewis: Sweet Hawaiian gold. Macadamias are my weakness.

Beverly: I just need a little help first. You're a contractor, right?
Bill Lewis: I sell tile!
Beverly: So you have a hammer. It's all the same.
Bill Lewis: Please just ask me whatever hugely imposing favor this is.
Beverly: Murray has bought a beach house.
Bill Lewis: How incredibly generous of him.
Beverly: It's a dump and I hate it!
Bill Lewis: And now we know why you're here. You want me to say the terrible things so you don't have to.
Beverly: You tell Murray how costly it'll be to fix. The thought of spending a single penny more will reawaken his cheapness, and then I won't have to live in the house from The Munsters.
Bill Lewis: I'm available next Tuesday.
Beverly: We're going now.

Bill Lewis: Well... [sighs] Mur-man, I'm not gonna lie to you. This is more than a paint-and-patch.
Beverly: That sounds like big bucks. Please, Bill, be more specific.
Bill Lewis: You need new drywall.
Murray: Drywall? That's easy.
Beverly: Uh, anything else? Maybe something that isn't easy?
Bill Lewis: And new floors, I guess.
Beverly: You guess or you know? I don't want to crash through to whatever lurks beneath here. Is quicksand just a jungle thing?
Bill Lewis: Uh, that mold is, uh, deadly, and it'll eat your whole family.

Beverly: Okay, well, Bill took that too far there, but, uh, how does that make you feel, Mur? Like you want to maybe reconsider everything?
Murray: Mold? [chuckles] I just got some new cream for my toenails. I'll plop it on the wall, it'll all disappear.

Murray: Hey. What are you doing in here and not out on the crystal brown waters of the Atlantic?
Adam: Why do you want me to surf so bad?
Murray: You're the only one not embracing our beach lifestyle. Now go on out there and ride the big kahuna.
Adam: Is that a person?
Murray: I don't know who it is! But he's out there.

Bill Lewis: Well... no easy way to say this, Mur-man. It's gonna cost you an arm and a leg to fix this place up.
Murray: Bill, there's no amount of money I wouldn't spend to put a smile on this little lady's face.
Beverly: Last week you got mad at me for having grocery ketchup.
Murray: Well, those little packets are everywhere, but this is different. I know it'll take some work, but over time, we'll get it done.
Beverly: Time, as in the one thing we can never get more of?
Bill Lewis: That and gallbladders. Found that out the hard way.
Beverly: Bill, get out.
Bill Lewis: You drove me here. [Beverly points to the door] Fine.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Feeling guilty for having broken my dad's heart, my mom was looking to the sea for answers, but the only thing coming out of there was me.
Beverly: Oh, no, Schmoo. What happened?
Adam: I surfed!
Beverly: Wait. You paddled out there?
Adam: No. I went to clean my toes of icky sand in the water, but the undertow took me! [Beverly gasps] And my feet couldn't touch bottom! [Beverly gasps] But that's not the worst of it. There was a fin in the water!
Beverly: A shark?!
Adam: Jaws himself!
Beverly: So what happened?
Adam: I scrambled onto my board... [smooches] ...just as a wave yanked me into its grip and hurled me toward shore. [Beverly gasps] And it turns out that fin was a dolphin! [Beverly gasps] And she smiled at me.
Beverly: So I guess it kind of worked out.
Adam: I get it now. It's special here. Dad's right.
Murray: Maybe he is. So, wait. H-How did you break your board?
Adam: Oh, this is from the revolving door of the Marriott when I went to pee.

Beverly: Murray... what's all this?
Murray: Too busy hating the house to come up here?
Beverly: [chuckles] I deserve that. It's kind of wonderful.
Murray: It's why I bought the place. I know it needs a lot of work, but it's also got a lot of charm.
Beverly: Kind of like you.
Murray: [chuckles] Hey, I thought when the grandkids go to sleep, we could come up here, have a foo-foo drink, sit and watch the ocean or something dumb like that.
Beverly: It's not dumb. It's sweet.
Murray: Look. I'm sorry I bought this place without you. It's your dream house. You should have a say in it. But I never had money like that, and I got excited, and... [sighs] I messed up.
Beverly: Murray, I'm the one who should be apologizing. If you believe in this house, then so do I.
Murray: You're not embarrassed?
Beverly: Oh, beyond. But not because I couldn't see how special the house is, but... 'cause I couldn't see how special my husband is.

Barry: Can I give you some advice? I was wrong. You can't be friends with your ex.
Erica: Stop. I'm just here to explain last night.
Barry: Erica, take it from the guy who lost the love of his life. You're only gonna make it worse.
Erica: This is nothing like you and Lainey.
Barry: No, it's harder. She went away, and I didn't have to see her every day.
Erica: What are you saying?
Barry: I'm saying you guys need to be out of each other's lives for a while. It's the only way you're gonna get through this.
Erica: It's impossible. To see him, to not see him. I just didn't think it was gonna be this hard.
Barry: I know. And I also know I'm just your younger, goofy brother, but I'm always here for you.
Erica: Thanks, Barry.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Life can get messy sometimes, whether it's the end of a relationship... or even the start of something new and wonderful. Either way, you can always look back... but you can only live forward.