Geoffrey: Master William, any luck with your search?
Will: Man, I saw some of the nastiest places this city has to offer.
Geoffrey: Oh, well. You'll have better luck tomorrow.
Will: [scoffs] Suppose you right if I was gonna keep looking. G, what would you say if I said I think I may have made a mistake?
Geoffrey: The word "duh" comes to mind.
Will: Well, you know what? I know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna march right up to Uncle Phil and just tell him I lied. I mean, I'm a man, you know. I can admit to my mistakes. That's all it was, a mistake. Mistakes can be undone. You learn, you move on. So what? I mean, I can admit I was completely wrong and I can take my lumps. Lumps I earned. A man's lumps. Uncle Phil can relate to that. He a man, he lumpy.
Geoffrey: Well said.
Will: That's right. Look, I'm gonna march right up to Uncle Phil and I'm gonna say, "This man is staying in the pool house."
Geoffrey: Good show, Master William. And I wouldn't miss it for the world.

Carlton: Look, since Mom and Dad are selling the place I don't wanna take all my stuff to Princeton. Can I leave some of it in your apartment?
Will: Pfft. Ooh, uh... No, I can't do that. See, uh, my place kind of small, man.
Carlton: I thought you just said it was big.
Will: Yeah. No. Yeah. No. I mean, uh, it's big in a real petite kind of way.

Philip Drummond: I think he's overstating it a little bit, Arnold.
Arnold Jackson-Drummond: You're probably right, Dad. Let's check out this fly pad. I could get used to living in the lap of luxury.
Philip Drummond: You know, those things were a lot funnier when you were still a little child.
Arnold Jackson-Drummond: Yeah, well, Dad, your little stories were a lot more interesting back then too. Hey, let's check out the wet bar.
Will: Oh, wait, wait. Uh, we don't have one.
Arnold Jackson-Drummond: Let's check out the house down the street.
Philip Drummond: Thanks anyway.

George Jefferson: I'm telling you, Weezy, it's too expensive.
Louise Jefferson: Oh, loosen up, George. I like it.
Will: Oh, yeah, and let me tell you. Next door, ooh, the girls, man. Bikinis all that. They got a regular Playboy mansion jumping off over there. Memorial Day, it all comes off, you know what I'm talking about? You know what I'm talking about, boy? [Will and George laugh]
Louise Jefferson: Come on, George. This place is too expensive.
George Jefferson: It all comes off, huh?
Will: Man, let me tell you-
Louise Jefferson: George!

Will Smith: Hey, Joe. What's up, man?
Joseph Marcell: Hey, Will. Nice shade.
Will Smith: Oh, no, no. Karyn and Ta, they were just playing. No. Hey. Oh, everybody. Joe Marcell. He plays Geoffrey the butler.
Joseph Marcell: Hello.
Will Smith: Yeah. I was just showing them clips of everybody messing their lines up. But not you, man. You are refined. You British. You special, man. State of the art, boy.
Joseph Marcell: Thank you, Will.
Will Smith: Oh, no. I mean, I'm just saying when you step out on that stage, man, you just get out there and you hit it. Blam!
Joseph Marcell: Blam.
Will Smith: That's right.
Joseph Marcell: Thank you, again, Will.
Will Smith: Yeah, right.

Vivian: Oh, come on, Philip, it was awfully nice of Jazz to introduce Will to his sister. He's a good friend.
[Will slides into into the kitchen in his underwear]
Will: My brothers and sisters, I've got a date.

Janet: You know what would be fun?
Will: I can think of a couple of things.
Janet: It would be fun to take your cousin Ashley out sometime. I love kids.
Will: Yeah, word. Kids are great.
Janet: Do you want kids of your own?
Will: Definitely.
Janet: You'd be a great dad.
Will: You, too, baby.
Janet: I probably shouldn't tell you this but the moment I saw you I knew we'd be great together.
Will: I hope it wasn't the leather jacket that did it.
Janet: Don't be silly. You're not wearing the jacket now, are you?
Will: Mm-mm. And I never will be again.
Janet: Clothes don't make the man. And, Will, you are my man.
Will: Oh, man.

Will: Well, maybe we should look at the menu. If I can get my eyes to focus.
Janet: I am getting a little hungry.
Will: Baby, have the lobster, have the caviar. Anything you want.
Janet: Well, I know I don't want lobster and caviar, they're much too expensive.
Will: You're right. We are going to be great together.

Hilary: Guess who I'm going out with tonight?
Will: No, no, no. Let me out. Let me out.
Philip: Who, sweetheart?
Will: Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, Mike?
Hilary: Trevor.
Will: No!

Philip: Oh, Geoffrey, are my sandwiches ready yet?
Vivian: Philip, for God's sake, we're going to SeaWorld. There's gonna be food stands everywhere.
Will: Oh, yeah, that may be true, Aunt Viv, but there ain't gonna be no food stand in the Volvo. You know, you better let that man eat and give him food or he'll mess around and chew one of your arms off in the car.