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‘It Had to Be You’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: It Had to Be You

119. It Had to Be You

Aired February 4, 1991

Jazz wants to set Will up on a date with his sister, Janet (Vivica A. Fox).

Quote from Jazz

Philip: Well, Jazz, I'm going to go into the kitchen for a snack. When I come back, I want you gone.
Jazz: Guess I got plenty of time then.

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Quote from Philip

Geoffrey: I must say Mr. Jazz's sister is quite a charmer.
Philip: Yes, she is. Makes me question the whole theory of genetics.

Quote from Carlton

Janet: I need more ice.
Carlton: You need more ice, what?
Janet: I need more ice in my warm soda.
Carlton: You need more ice, please.
Janet: What did you say to me?
Gia: He said, "You need more ice, please."
Jazz: Heads up.
Carlton: Will, I'm sorry. I've got to say something. Janet, your behavior this evening has been completely unacceptable.
Will: Carlton.
Carlton: Where I come from, manners count for a lot. I'm sorry I've got to say this but I simply can't sit back and allow this rudeness to continue. You owe every one of us an apology, especially that poor waitress. And if you refuse, we're taking you home and continuing the evening without you. Do I make myself clear?
Will: [to Jazz] You know, I'm going to miss him.
Carlton: Do I make myself clear?
Janet: [instrumental music plays] Yes, Carlton.

Quote from Hilary

Hilary: Okay. I did my budget just like you told me.
Vivian: Good for you. Let me see.
Hilary: Alright, this is the amount I made last week and these were my expenses. As you can see, I spent five times more than I made. This budget thing is pretty easy.

Quote from Philip

Will: Hey, I'm telling you, Carlton was a little bit of that. Uncle Phil, I didn't know he had it in him. He just stood right up to Janet and said: "Baby, that's about all that lip I'm going to have."
Philip: Boys, you've got a lot to learn about women. Carlton has obviously been watching me in action. Now, Will... [Vivian walks up behind Phil] Your Aunt Vivian can be quite bossy at times. But when she starts bossing me around, I don't let it bother me. I just say no in a strong, masculine voice. And when I say no, she jumps.
Vivian: Excuse me. What did you say?
Philip: I don't know. How long have you been there?
Vivian: I came in on, "Your Aunt Vivian can be quite bossy sometimes."
Philip: So you didn't hear the part where I said: "Boys, the rest of this statement is completely untrue."
Vivian: Philip, you better sleep with one eye open. [exits]
Philip: I got her just where I want her.

Quote from Jazz

Vivian: So, Janet, how long have you been in town?
Janet: Well, I just moved here. I got a scholarship to go to UCLA.
Hilary: Oh, well, we certainly know who got the brains in your family.
Jazz: Yeah, but Janet ain't stupid.

Quote from Jazz

Janet: So, Mrs. Banks, Jazz tells me you're a college professor.
Vivian: That's right. I teach English.
Janet: And Mr. Banks, Jazz tells me you're a professional wrestler.
Philip: Well, I'm afraid he was mistaken. I'm a lawyer.
Jazz: My apologies. I was misquoted.

Quote from Will

Will: J-Janet, whoa. Hold on, hold on. Wait a minute. wait a minute. Sheesh! Wait a minute. I mean, don't you think it's a little early to be talking about marriage?
Janet: Excuse me? Well, then what did you have in mind?
Will: I don't know. Dinner, maybe a dance or two.
Janet: Oh, is that right? A moment ago, you were chewing on my earlobe, Mr. Niblet. Did you think you could sample the milk without putting a down payment on the cow?
Will: I ordered lemonade.
Janet: Well, you're not gonna drink it. You're cutting out that sugar, too. No husband of mine will sit around getting fat and watching TV all day and leaving me with all the work of raising six kids by myself. Oh, no. Mm-mm.
Will: But-
Janet: But, nothing. And look at me when I'm talking to you! [Will gives a concerned look to camera] William, who are you looking at?

Quote from Jazz

Jazz: Prince, is your uncle here? I think I dislocated my hip last night dancing. Man, I don't want to risk getting thrown out. [Will removes Jazz's jacket] Yo, man, what's up? Come on, man, that tickles.
Will: I want my clothes back, Jazz. You set me up with a maniac. Man, your sister's the bossiest woman in the world.
Jazz: I know.
Will: You know?
Jazz: Man, she gets on my last nerves. Ever since she moved out here she's been hanging out at my place, bossing me around all the time. I had to pawn her off on some sucker.
[Will throws Jazz out of the house]

Quote from Geoffrey

Will: Yo, G! Chill, man! Whatever you do, don't open that door.
Vivian: Please, Lord, tell me it isn't the police.
Will: No. It's my boy, Jazz.
Philip: Much worse.
Will: Hey, G. $10 says I ain't home.
Geoffrey: It doesn't quite say it loudly enough. Do I hear $15.
Will: G, you gonna do a brother like that? Man, it's my life's at stake.
Geoffrey: I took that into consideration.

Quote from Hilary

Hilary: Well, Janet, I went to UCLA. Do you want to use my books?
Jackie: Thanks. I was thinking of buying used books.
Hilary: Oh, well, these aren't used.

Quote from Will

Janet: Gia? I'd like the swordfish and a salad. No dressing.
Gia: And what about you, Will?
Will: I'll have the- [Janet elbows Will as he looks up at Gia] I'll have the steak. Rare.
Janet: Steak is really unhealthy.
Gia: Do you need another minute?
Janet: No, no, no. He'll have the same thing I'm having. Plus a baked potato. No butter, no sour cream. Thank you.
Gia: Got it.
Will: [stammers] I like sour cream.
Janet: You used to. From now on, you need to watch that cholesterol. I'm not having my husband dying of a heart attack at 40 and leaving me to raise six kids by myself.
Will: Six kids?
Janet: That's right, baby. Three girls, three boys. And don't even think about naming one of them William.

Quote from Will

Vivian: Oh, what's the matter, baby? You like Janet more than she likes you?
Will: I don't think so.
Philip: Well, I sure liked her.
Will: Yeah, I hope so, since we'll probably be living here with our six kids.
Vivian: Kids?
Will: Yeah, she told me last night we're having six.
Vivian: Not anytime soon, I hope.
Will: Oh no, she doesn't want to start a family until we've finished graduate school worked at least five years and have complete dental benefits.
Vivian: That sounds very sensible.
Will: Aunt Viv, this is all before we had salads.
Philip: Well, why don't you tell her you're not interested?
Will: I tried, man. She just won't listen. It's like Fatal Attraction. I'm telling you, if we had a bunny, dude would be on the stove right now.

Quote from Philip

Will: Aunt Viv, I'm telling you, this babe is tripping. She's already telling me what to do, what to eat, where to look.
Philip: Well, women get like that.
Vivian: Get like what?
Philip: You know.
Vivian: No, Philip, I do not. Women get like what?
Will: Like that.
Vivian: You say something, William?
Geoffrey: Master William, Mr. Jazz is here to see you.
Will: Thank you, G.
Vivian: What do women get like? I am waiting. Hello!

Quote from Hilary

Hilary: [to Toni] Well, you know Carlton and Will. And a little further down on the evolutionary chart, Jazz.
Jazz: She noticed me.

Quote from Jazz

Will: Why the hell didn't that work?
Jazz: You got the theory right. You just ain't got the technique. Take notes. Hilary!
Hilary: What?
Jazz: Hilary, your behavior at the club last night was completely unacceptable. Now, where I come from, manners count for a lot. Now, I'm sorry to have to say this, but I simply can't sit here and allow this rudeness to continue. Do I make myself clear?
Hilary: Jazz, come here.
[After Jazz follows Hilary out of the living room, she throws Jazz out of the house]

Quote from Jazz

Geoffrey: [clears throat] Mr. Jazz.
Ashley: Yo, what up, pop?
Jazz: Home fry.
Hilary: Will's in the kitchen.
Jazz: I can wait.
Hilary: Why don't you sit here a little closer?
Jazz: Don't mind if I do.
Hilary: Will you just get away from me?
Jazz: I love a woman who's hard to get.
Geoffrey: In that case, I want to marry you and have your child.
Jazz: I'm down with that, too.
Ashley: Sorry, Jazz.
Jazz: That's okay. I got a great view of her running out.

Quote from Will

Will: Yo, what up, J?
Jazz: Yo, Prince, I need a favor.
Will: Anything, man. How many times you helped me out?
Jazz: Seven.
Will: What do you need?
Jazz: A date.
Will: Say no more!
Jazz: I want you to date my sister.
Will: Ugh, say a lot more.

Quote from Jazz

Jazz: She just moved out here and she hasn't had a date yet, and, Prince, she really needs a man.
Will: But does she look good?
Jazz: Sure she does. Good looks run in my family.
Will: Okay, Jazz. Um, look, you know I'd do anything for you. You're like a brother to me.
Jazz: Check.
Will: Which means that your sister should be like a sister to me, not a girlfriend. I mean, just think, if it doesn't work out, it could jeopardize our friendship.
Jazz: I'm willing to take that risk.
Will: Look, my brother, I have to give this some serious thought.
Jazz: Alright, well, can I bring her by just to meet you?
Will: Yeah, that's chill.
Jazz: Cool. Tonight, 8:00 sharp. And try to smell good.
[Will looks off to the side and sees Jazz, with long hair and a woman's outfit:]
Jazz: [imaginary] Yo, big boy. Give your sweet mama some sugar.

Quote from Philip

Vivian: Why don't you want to see Jazz?
Will: It's his sister I don't want to see. Jazz is trying to set me up.
Philip: Jazz has a sister? Nice to meet you, Dad.
[Phil looks off to the side and imagines Jazz with long hair in a woman's outfit, just as Will did]
Jazz: [imaginary] Nice to meet you, Dad.
Philip: [shudders]

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