Will: Well, Mom, I think that your stuffing is the best in the world.
Vy: Yes.
Hattie: What?
Will: Oh, I mean I'm saying... At least that's what I thought before I tried Grandma Hattie's herb stuffing. Now, whoo! Hey, what is it in there, the rosemary that just drives me crazy?
Aunt Helen: What?
Will: Um... Well, I mean, nothing compares to Aunt Helen's mushroom and bacon stuffing. Ain't that right, Uncle Phil?
Philip: Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Vivian: Will?
Will: Well, Aunt Viv. I mean, when I first tried your apricot stuffing I was like, "Whoo!" Ain't that right, Uncle Phil? Heh. You gonna leave me hanging out here like this, huh?

Hilary: Oh, my God. Have you ever seen so many fashion don'ts in one room?

Carlton: Relax. You have to be patient with these people. Understanding.
Larry Wilmore: Excuse me.
Carlton: Hey, pal. Can't you see I'm talking?
Larry Wilmore: I'm Larry Wilmore. The shelter manager.
Carlton: Manager? Carlton Banks here. Wow, you're awfully young to have such an important position. And fit too. You work out, don't you? So, Lare, listen. I've taken the liberty of drafting up a little letter of recommendation. So if you'd be kind enough to put your John Hancock...

Aunt Helen: All right. Vy, I'm gonna need this area to chop up my onions.
Vy: No, no, no. Not before I chop up my parsley. I don't want your onions ruining my stuffing.
Aunt Helen: Believe me, you don't need my onions to ruin your stuffing.
Hattie: Children, please.
Aunt Helen: Just like you, moving in on somebody.
Vy: You're the one to talk. I had my own room before you came along.
Aunt Helen: Why don't you let that go? You hold on to things like a rottweiler.
Vy: Now, why did you have to go there? What are you talking about, "holding on to something"?
Hattie: I'm glad I never had daughters.

Nicky: Mommy, Daddy's fallen and he can't get up.

Steve: Hey, can you hook me up with some more potatoes?
Carlton: Move it along. Everyone gets the same amount.
Steve: But I'm a growing boy. Just because somebody stunted your growth doesn't mean you need to take it out on me.
Carlton: Is that a short joke?
Steve: Why, did it go over your head? Now, that was a short joke.
Carlton: Look, you mangy little rapscallion... Hey, Mr. Wilmore. I'm just giving the customers what they want. How about some more turkey, young fella? Just tell me when.
Larry Wilmore: What are you doing? This food has to feed everybody. For somebody who wants to go to Princeton, I'd expect more common sense.
Steve: Hey. Maybe you ought to look into community college. [laughs]

Nicky: Is dinner ready yet?
Vivian: Not quite, honey. Almost.
Nicky: Well, can't you just hit me with a little somethin'- somethin'?
Vivian: Not until dinner, honey.
Nicky: Aw, man. [Hattie slips Nicky some food] Yes.

Philip: Mother. My sweet Mommy. Come on, Mom. [laughs]
Hattie: I've got a few secrets of my own. I have been stashing away a pie or two ever since I saw the size of your sweet tooth.
Will: Oh. Grandma Hattie, the pie hider.
Philip: Aah.
Hattie: I suppose the dog ate this one too.
Will: I ain't had nothing to do with it.
Philip: He ate it. You always trying to blame somebody.
Hattie: Out of here. Both of you.
Philip: Momma.
Hattie: Just out of the kitchen. Out. Out. Out. Out.
[After Will and Uncle Phil leave the kitchen, the camera pans to Nicky eating the pie under a table]

Hilary: Well, it's off to the shelter.
Vivian: Oh, honey. I think it's wonderful that you're helping the less fortunate on Thanksgiving.
Hilary: I guess. Did I tell you that Channel Four is sending a camera crew down to cover this? God knows that The Hilary Show could use some publicity.
Geoffrey: There is no limit to your giving, is there, Miss Hilary?
Hilary: Thank you, Geoffrey, that's so sweet.

Hilary: All set?
Carlton: I'm not going.
Hilary: Wait. Carlton, didn't you call down to the shelter and volunteer?
Carlton: Yeah, I called down and put my name on a volunteer list. But I'm not physically going down there. But don't worry, it'll still look good on my resume.
Vivian: Carlton, if you said you were going down to help, you get down there.
Carlton: But, Mom, I can't drive through that part of town. There are homeless people down there. Okay, fine. But before I go, I'm taking the pennies out of my loafers.