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There's the Rub (Part 1)

‘There's the Rub (Part 1)’

Season 6, Episode 9 -  Aired November 20, 1995

With his mother and Vivian's sisters in town for Thanksgiving, Phil's stress levels are high and it's aggravating his back. Meanwhile, Hilary and Carlton volunteer at a soup kitchen.

Quote from Hilary

Larry Wilmore: Uh, Ms. Banks, the film crew called and they said they're gonna be a little delayed. But in the meantime, Sylvia over there will give you your jobs.
Hilary: Oh, don't be silly. I already have a job. I'm a famous talk-show hostess. Well, not exactly famous but I would be if more people watched my show. But really, how famous was Oprah before she was famous?


Quote from Aunt Helen

Aunt Helen: You're just jealous, Vy. Jealous because I'm fine.
Vy: Fine?
Aunt Helen: Fine.
Vy: Well, I've been told that I'm very sexy.
Aunt Helen: 900 numbers don't count.

Quote from Aunt Helen

Vy: Wait, no. You made the stuffing last year.
Hattie: That's because you were sick. This is my natural turn.
Aunt Helen: Well, wait a minute. It's my turn to make it after you.
Vivian: Okay. Now you're guests in my house. I'll make the stuffing. Besides, everybody loves it.
Aunt Helen: Funny, I don't remember voting.
Vy: Uh, no offense, you guys but none of you can hold a candle to my stuffing.
Aunt Helen: That's because it's so dry, it'd go up in flames.
Hattie: All I know is, I've been making my stuffing for Philip since he was a boy. And he always asks for more.
Aunt Helen: Oh, we all know what a picky eater he is.

Quote from Aunt Helen

Aunt Helen: Philip, honey, what happened in here?
Hattie: Oh, my poor baby.
Vy: Can I get you anything?
Aunt Helen: I'll take a gin and tonic.

Quote from Vy

Will: Aunt Helen, you ever heard of traveling light?
Vy: And that's probably just her makeup.

Quote from Vy

Aunt Helen: I make this stuffing for all my men. And they always come back for more.
Vy: Yeah, because they forgot their shoes.

Quote from Philip

Philip: What the hell are you doing down here?
Will: Oh, um, I thought I heard somebody breaking in. What you doing down here?
Philip: Uh, the same thing.
Will: Pie's in the fridge.
Philip: Yep. Nothing like sneaking a little pie before Thanksgiving.
Will: Shh! Shh!
Philip: Don't shush me. This is not the first Philip Banks pie-jacking. Son, son, I have been jacking pies since, what, Thanksgiving 1953. Rhubarb. Tart little thing. From then on, the dog ate the pie. [Hattie turns the lights on]
Will: Hey.
Hattie: So I guess it's your nose I should've been shoving in the pan.
Will: Well, you know, actually, keeping his nose out of the pan would have been more of a punishment.
Philip: Get off of me.

Quote from Aunt Helen

Vivian: How was the trip?
Vy: Oh, well, a little bumpy.
Vivian: Turbulence?
Vy: No, no, no. For five hours straight, Helen never stopped moving.
Aunt Helen: Well, that's why I've always had a boyfriend. You know that's right.

Quote from Aunt Helen

Vy: Oh, Ashley, sweetie pie. How you doing? Oh, I guess you're gonna be rolling up those sleeves and helping us in the kitchen? I can't wait to get elbow deep in them turkey gizzards.
Aunt Helen: Honey, you need to get cable.
Ashley: Just because I'm a woman, I'm suppose to don an apron on Thanksgiving? I don't think so.
Aunt Helen: Well, I guess somebody burned their training bra.

Quote from Will

Will: Well, Mom, I think that your stuffing is the best in the world.
Vy: Yes.
Hattie: What?
Will: Oh, I mean I'm saying... At least that's what I thought before I tried Grandma Hattie's herb stuffing. Now, whoo! Hey, what is it in there, the rosemary that just drives me crazy?
Aunt Helen: What?
Will: Um... Well, I mean, nothing compares to Aunt Helen's mushroom and bacon stuffing. Ain't that right, Uncle Phil?
Philip: Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Vivian: Will?
Will: Well, Aunt Viv. I mean, when I first tried your apricot stuffing I was like, "Whoo!" Ain't that right, Uncle Phil? Heh. You gonna leave me hanging out here like this, huh?

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