Vivian: How was the trip?
Vy: Oh, well, a little bumpy.
Vivian: Turbulence?
Vy: No, no, no. For five hours straight, Helen never stopped moving.
Aunt Helen: Well, that's why I've always had a boyfriend. You know that's right.

Vy: Oh, Ashley, sweetie pie. How you doing? Oh, I guess you're gonna be rolling up those sleeves and helping us in the kitchen? I can't wait to get elbow deep in them turkey gizzards.
Aunt Helen: Honey, you need to get cable.
Ashley: Just because I'm a woman, I'm suppose to don an apron on Thanksgiving? I don't think so.
Aunt Helen: Well, I guess somebody burned their training bra.

Aunt Helen: All right. Vy, I'm gonna need this area to chop up my onions.
Vy: No, no, no. Not before I chop up my parsley. I don't want your onions ruining my stuffing.
Aunt Helen: Believe me, you don't need my onions to ruin your stuffing.
Hattie: Children, please.
Aunt Helen: Just like you, moving in on somebody.
Vy: You're the one to talk. I had my own room before you came along.
Aunt Helen: Why don't you let that go? You hold on to things like a rottweiler.
Vy: Now, why did you have to go there? What are you talking about, "holding on to something"?
Hattie: I'm glad I never had daughters.

Vivian: I wonder why Philip and Will are so late.
Vy: Well, maybe they pulled in, smelled your stuffing and turned back around.
Aunt Helen: [laughs] Now, that's a good one. [laughs] Of course, yours ain't no better.

Vivian: It doesn't matter whose stuffing was best it was just fun being in that kitchen together. Oh.
Aunt Helen: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, I love y'all too but the bottom line is my stuffing was the best. Any fool can see that. [all groan] You tasted it. You tasted it with your own mouth. [all leave] Slaving in that- No, I was slaving in that kitchen all day. I know who I am. I don't care if y'all leave the table. Happy Thanksgiving to you too. Every man I cook for likes what I cook. That's right. I'm all right. I'm getting out of here. Hah. I'm going somewhere for Christmas. Hah.

Aunt Helen: Vivian, girl, you watching a talk show? Please, the Bulls are playing.
Vivian: The Bulls? Since when are you a sports enthusiast?
Aunt Helen: Child, please. Since Michael Jordan went back to the NBA and started wearing them shorts again. Ah! Look at those buns. Booyah!

Nicky: Daddy.
Philip: [laughs] How you doing, buddy? You having a good time here at your Aunt Helen's?
Nicky: Yeah. She's teaching me all kinds of cool stuff, fat-head.
Aunt Helen: [laughs] Honey. Honey, please. You mustn't repeat things Aunt Helen tell you. [laughs] Come on. Let's go upstairs and watch the game.

Aunt Helen: I'll tell you, Viv. I come here all the time. They got food, entertainment and men in grass skirts. Look at that. Ha, ha! Come here, boy. Come back here. [laughs] They wouldn't let me bring my leaf blower.

Vivian: Wait a minute. Now where is the groom?
Janice: Frank is coming in the morning. He had to take care of some business.
Aunt Helen: Oh, yes. Speaking of taking care of business, does he? Forever is a long time, sister.
Vy: Not in front of Will, please.
Janice: Viola, wake up. Will is 17 years old. He's probably taking care of a little business himself. Aren't you, Will?
Will: Absolutely not!

Geoffrey: Mr. Frank Schaeffer.
Vy: Yes. Welcome to our family. I'm Vy. I raised Janice, and looking at you, I know I raised her right. Those are the other two sisters.
Aunt Helen: Oh, yes. Cute, cute, cute, and cute. A dangerous combination. Why don't you come in, make yourself comfortable?
Carlton: Your little woman will be down any minute.
Cabbie: Great.
Philip: Thanks a lot, buddy.
Frank Schaeffer: Thanks.
Janice: Baby. [kisses Frank]