Kitty: So, so, so. What to do?
Donna: Well, I should have gone hunting.
Kitty: No, no, no. We can have fun. We can have our very own fun. We could...
Donna: I'm not baking anything.
Kitty: Aw! Okay, who wants Jell-O?
Donna: Jell-O's baking.
Kitty: No, no, no. Jell-O's boiling. [laughs] Gotcha.

Bob: I killed a bear once.
Red: Your ass.
Bob: I did. I did. I was getting a drink from a stream, see, when suddenly I heard something. Grabbed my shotgun, boom. Right between the eyes. Survival.
Red: So what did you do then? You, uh, bring it home? Get it stuffed?
Bob: Nope. Left it there. Went home.
Red: How come you didn't bring it home? Get it stuffed?
Bob: On account it was so huge.

Midge: I think Eric's the sweetest kid. So, Donna, have you and Eric...
Donna: Mother, please!
Jackie: The answer's no.
Donna: Hey, hey. Everybody just shut up.
Kitty: Well, I for one am not so naive as to think that you and Eric...
Donna: Ahhh!
Kitty: Okay, well, I guess we're upsetting her, so what should we do now? [laughs]
Midge: Well, if Donna wasn't so uptight, we could talk about...
Donna: I'm gonna go home. Do you want me to go home? 'Cause I will.

Jackie: You guys, let's play poker. I bet I'm good at it.
Kitty: You never played poker before?
Jackie: Uh-uh, but I have lots of money.
Kitty: Oh, well, honey. Have a seat. I'll get the cards.

Eric: So, where's Fez?
Bob: Kelso probably shot him.
Red: No, no, no. I saw him walking into the woods right after we got here. Said he was going hunting. He had a whistle and a stick. [laughs]
Bob: Oh, that crazy foreign bastard.
Fez: [holds innards] Let's eat.

[circle in the hunting lodge:]
Hyde: Man, I am at one with nature right now. Thanks for the pheasant, Fez. Pheasant, Fez. Pheasant, Fez.
Fez: Yes, beautiful black pheasants.
Bob: Black pheasants. Wait, pheasants aren't black.
Kelso: Black is beautiful. I wish Jackie was black.
Hyde: What did you feed us, Fez?
Fez: They were pheasants. They went, "Coo-caw." "Coo-caw."
Hyde: You fed us a crow? You're not supposed to eat a crow, man. You just brought some bad ju-ju on us all. We ate somebody's soul, man.
Fez: Ay, no. I have eaten someone's delicious soul.
Kelso: Hey, good news, guys. I found my gun. [chuckles]
[When the camera pans back around, Fez, Hyde and Bob have left the circle]
Kelso: What? It's probably not loaded.

Jackie: I'm in.
Donna: Okay, uh, do you want any cards?
Jackie: Yeah, can I have two fives, please?
Midge: And I'll have one card. Oh, it's a five. Jackie, did you want this?
Jackie: You gave her a five? I thought we were friends.
Kitty: Okay, you know what? Everybody just show your cards.
Jackie: Okay, did I win? Did I win? Did I win?
Donna: Not even close.
Jackie: Oh. Well, I don't care. I don't work, so money doesn't really mean anything to me.
Kitty: Oh, how nice for you.
[The scene transitions to a painting of dogs playing poker]

Eric: Hey, Dad. I don't know about you, but I'm kind of frozen to the blind. Right in the pants area.
Red: Shh. Jeez, you have done nothing but complain since we got here. You know, I was hoping that this trip would be better than the last, where you cried about every stupid thing.
Eric: I was six. And you made me touch a dead rabbit.
Red: I just thought that if you touched it, you might not be afraid of it.
Eric: Well, thank you, Dr. Spock.
Red: Making noise is not the way to bag a deer.
Eric: I had nightmares for a month. Big, dead, rabbit nightmares.

Red: Holy cow, look at him go. Man, you really stink.
Eric: I told you to take the shot.
Red: Well, I just thought it would be nice for you to get a deer. I mean... God knows, I'd love to get one.
Eric: Then you should have taken the shot.
Red: What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you always so damn nervous?
Eric: Oh, hmm, I don't know. Maybe it's because you've been yelling at me for 17 years?
Red: Oh, I have not. Oh, God, he was right there. I could have hit him with a rock.
Eric: Yep, that's a damn shame. So are you ready to head back?
Red: No, I sure as hell am not ready to head back. You want to go back? You go back.
Eric: So. Hey, Dad. How about a war story?
Red: Yeah, okay. Did I ever tell you about the time I... didn't miss that North Korean?

Eric: Oh, my God. Dad, he's back. Oh, look at him. He's magnificent. He's the king of the forest. Just like... Bambi's dad. He's beautiful.
Red: [fires gun] Yeah, and I'll bet he tastes beautiful, too. Oh, uh, just for the record, Eric. I'm the king of the forest.