Fez: The deer is staring at my soul. Put some sunglasses on it.

Red: Hey, look at this. It's the first day of deer season.
Eric: Rabbit season.
Hyde: Duck season.
Eric: Rabbit season.
Hyde: Duck season.
Eric: "Wabbit" season.
Hyde: Duck season. [Red glares at them]

Kitty: Well, Red, you haven't been hunting in ages. Not since the accident.
Eric: What accident?
Red: The really terrible accident that's none of your business.
Eric: Oh, yeah. That one.

Kelso: Damn! Damn. Damn it all! Damn!
Red: Kelso, what the hell are you doing?
Kelso: Well, I would be proudly standing over my kill right now if someone hadn't taken my gun away.
Bob: Kelso, you can't fire the gun in the camp.
Kelso: The deer walked right through here. He was mine. I was gonna hunt him.
Red: You know, Kelso, not every hunting accident is an accident. I think you'd better sit this one out, pal.
Kelso: Fine.

Red: You know, I saw a deer blind on the way in. Anybody want to go check it out?
Eric: I'll go.
Hyde: Oh, no, not me. I just came to hang out. When I crave meat, I buy bologna.

Laurie: Oh, wow, Mom. You're not good.
Kitty: Well, you're not even playing so keep it to yourself, Ms. Smarty.
Laurie: Okay, I'll play.
Kitty: You want to play cards with your mother?
Laurie: Sure.
Kitty: Well, I am gonna call the Milwaukee Journal.

Midge: Kitty? How many kings are in a pack?
Kitty: Four.
Midge: I bet $1.00.
Kitty: Well, um, I see that there are four queens in a deck, too.
Laurie: Oh, Mom. That is so pathetic.
Kitty: Fine, I fold.

Red: Oh, man. We got one. He is huge.
Eric: Where? I don't see it.
Red: It's about a quarter click south of the clearing.
Eric: What is a click? And which way is south? Oh, no, wait, okay, I see him. Yeah. Oh, you're right, Dad. He is huge.
Red: You're not kidding. I'd say he's a 10-pointer. [looks at Eric]
Eric: What?
Red: I was just thinking. You take the shot.
Eric: No. No way. You always talk about getting a buck. You do it.
Red: No, damn it. Now don't argue with me. Now take the shot. Come on. Hurry up. Oh, and don't shoot him in the face. [Eric fires the gun]

Kitty: Full house. Jacks over 10s.
Laurie: Mom wins again.
Kitty: [laughs] Well, this is fun, isn't this fun?
Midge: It was fun till Laurie started dealing.
Laurie: Hey, what's that supposed to mean?
Jackie: Oh, my gosh. I think Mrs. Pinciotti is saying that Laurie's cheating.
Donna: No, she's not.
Midge: Wait. Yes, I am.
Kitty: My daughter does not cheat.
Midge: Come on, Donna. We're storming out of here. Okay, see ya.
Jackie: Hold on. I'll storm with you. Thank you for a lovely afternoon, Mrs. Forman.

Kitty: Laurie, were you cheating?
Laurie: You can't prove anything.
Kitty: Oh, for God's sake.
Laurie: Okay. Well, if you weren't such a crappy card player, then I wouldn't have had to cheat. And you were gonna lose all your mad money, and Midge bugs me.
Kitty: You were cheating so I would win.
Laurie: Duh! I wanted you to have a little fun.
Kitty: Well... Gosh, that's sweet.
Laurie: Yeah. [kisses Kitty] I love you, Mommy. [takes some money]